When it gets complicated

It was always you (Xiuchen)

~Minseok~

It's like slow motion as i watch Jongdae smiling down at the tiny human in his arms, presenting it as his own. The child has Jongdae's eyes, small and catlike, yet wide and curious about the world. She looks around my cafe, head swiveling in every direction as if she can't seem to focus on one thing at a time. Clearly she got that from Jongdae too. She can't possibly be more than two to three years old, but still old enough to wiggle around in her father's arms like she wants to be set free.

Father. Gods, Jongdae is a father. I'm just so shell shocked. Never in my wildest dream would i have ever pictured Jongdae holding a tiny child and looking oddly natural. How did this happen? Hells, when did this happen? I feel like this is something i should have been told about a long time ago. Kids are a big deal and take a lot of effort. So many things could change for us. Even though i told Jongdae that I'm happy just living the rest of my life and seeing where that takes us, it doesn't mean that i didn't want things; plan things. A child could change so much of that, if not all of it. Where will my place be in their life when she grows up or we move forward in our relationship? Did i ever want kids, anyways? 

My head swirls and i feel slightly dizzy. Questions raise and branch off at such a rapid speed that it hard to even grasp what is happening in front of me, that is until that voice breaks through all of my worry, doubt, and questions. Jongdae's voice is like a beacon, guiding me home until I'm focusing on a pair of eyes that are filled with so much curiosity and wonder, that my chest pulls. It's almost as if this little thing who looks so much like the person who has become so much of my world is daring me not to love her.

Jongdae gives me a hesitant and slightly concerned look as he readjusts the little girl in his arms. "Minseok, this is Minsun. My daughter."

My eyebrows raise and i quickly swallow the knot in my throat, before the last of my questions and concerns are pushed to the back of my mind. I have an adorable little mini Jongdae right in front of me staring at me and begging for attention. Oddly just like her father.

"Hello, Minsun. It's nice to meet you." I say in a voice i use with Chanyeol when he's having a bad anxiety day. "I love your dress. You look so pretty."

Minsun, the cutest little bean I've ever seen smiles brightly at me and my heart tightens a bit. She's just so much like Dae. How could i not instantly fall for the kid? Just because i'm a little upset with her father currently, doesn't mean that it's her fault. She's a princess, and should be addressed as such.

Even before i realize what's happening, i'm getting an armful of small child and fluffy tulle, and i have to struggle to keep a hold of her. "Sun-ah." Jongdae chastises, looking flabbergasted at his child.

I chuckle and fix her in my arms, so she's balancing on my hip. "She's fine, Dae." I say calmly, and he looks really relived for a second, until.. "But you're not." falls from my lips.

Jongdae suddenly looks terrified and chews nervously at his lips. "Minseok, i'm sorry i didn't tell you sooner, there just never really seemed like a proper time and i wasn't sure how serious you were about us, so i wasn't sure it was a good idea yet."

I huff out a laugh and tickle at Minsun's tummy, before grinning at the melodic giggles falling from her lips. "I'm aware of your reasons. I understand them very well. But you still kept a huge thing from me, Dae. You could have let me know without bringing her into it. You could have let the fact that you're a father drop sooner, and let me figure things out, instead of just bombarding me with this."

Jongdae's face pinches into regret and he looks a bit sheepish. "Well, i was worried that you'd run if you knew the truth. This is kind of a lot to commit to. A kid isn't exactly a selling point for someone who's already far from a catch."