Lights (2013)

4

"Blair?"

I look up from my book to see Jay standing cautiously in front of me. She's always cautious around me. It's almost as if she feels she is robbing me of something, which maybe she is, but it's not like I care either way. At least one of us deserves to be happy with my shitty dad.

"Could you...sorry to bother you...watch Daisy while I run to the store?" She asks me. "Fizzy and Phoebe are at an art class and Lottie is with friends and your father's at work, and who knows where Louis is." She chuckles lightly. Why she feels the need to ramble on about where everyone is I have no idea.

"Yeah, no problem," I say, shutting my book.

"Thank you, Blair," she says, shooting me a smile. "You're a sweet girl."

I just smile and walk downstairs to watch TV with Daisy. Jay grabs her purse from the kitchen and leaves.

When my father first told me he was marrying Jay, I instantly hated her. How could he simply replace my mother like that? Not only was she his wife and the mother of his child, but she was his best friend as well. I might have been young when she died, but I saw the way they laughed and joked together. She made him so happy.

After she died, we both kind of drifted away. Suddenly our world was quiet. I had Harry to keep my feet on the ground, and my father had alcohol. 

As soon as I was legal I got the hell out of my dad's house and had my own place for a while. It was nice, small, but enough for me. Harry loved it. I even gave him a key and he would visit time to time, sitting in his favorite chair by the window. Those were the good days.

But it was December of last year that I got the phone call from my dad that told me he was to be married. I was furious. I hadn't even known he was dating anyone, and suddenly he just dropped this bombshell on me. He pleaded and begged for me to come to the wedding, but I wouldn't have it. Some people just don't deserve to be forgiven.

In the end, I met Louis and the girls. I connected with Louis, I suppose. He understood what I was feeling. He didn't like the idea of his mum remarrying either. We found peace in each other and it was because of Louis I ended up going to the wedding. I even enjoyed it. A little.

I moved back in with my dad and his new wife, Jay, a couple months later because I ran out of money to pay for my apartment. Harry was strongly against this decision and offered to help me pay, but I refused. I know he just didn't want me moving in because of Louis, but I didn't and don't care. So here I am, babysitting my stepsister on a rainy summer afternoon in early August.

I open my book back up to read and try to tune out the TV.

I wish I had enough money to move back out. I miss having my own place.

"Why are you doing that?" Daisy's voice shocks me. 

"Doing what?"

"Reading," she scoffs.

"Because it's fun," I tell her.

"TV is fun," she says. "Reading is not."

I can't help but laugh. "You'll understand when you can read better," I say.

"Doubtful," she says, turning back to the TV.

Up until I moved in with Jay and my father, I had been an only child; so all these siblings were new to me. I wasn't used to having to share a room with Lottie or have Fizzy borrow my beauty supplies. 

It was odd at first, but now I don't mind having so many siblings. I'm definitely closest with Louis, though, and not just because we're so close in age. He understands me more than Lottie, Fizzy, Phoebe or Daisy do, and for that I am grateful.