Lights (2013)

14

I sit down next to the creek, crossing my legs. "I wish we could stay here forever."

Harry sits beside me, our arms almost touching. "We could," he says. "Pitch a tent. Live like hippies."

I laugh. "No thanks."

We sit in silence for awhile, just watching the creek. Birds chirp in the distance, the sun casting rays of light through the treetops. The environment is peaceful. I can't help but wonder what Harry's thinking about. I clear my own mind, just watching the way the creek laps the banks.

"Do you think of the future much?" Harry asks.

"What do you mean?"

"Like...if you'll have a family, a career."

I shrug. "I want a family. I want a career."

"But do you ever think of putting those into action?"

"I'm far too young to have a family, and I'm starting classes at the uni in the fall." I look to Harry. "Why?"

Harry shrugs. "I was just thinking."

I nod. Harry's phone suddenly goes off, scaring us both.

"Hello?" He answers. He sits up straighter. "What? Why?"

I look at him curiously. He shoots me a glance. "No. I'm not coming...because I'm fucking busy, why do you think?...no...why the fuck does it matter who I'm with?" He sighs. "Fine." He hangs up. "I have to go," he says to me. He stands, and reaches out to help me up. I take his hand, standing along with him.

"Why?" I ask.

"Luke," he answers simply.

"Well...can't I come with you?"

"No," he snaps.

I'm shocked at his rudeness. I roll my eyes at him and walk back to my car, fumbling for my keys in my pocket.

"Blair," Harry says behind me. I whirl around and look at him expectantly. "I'm sorry...I didn't mean to snap that way." I didn't expect him to apologize so easily, and it takes me by surprise.

I sigh. "It's alright.

"You can come if you want," he says. "I just...they're not great people, Luke and all of them. I don't like you around them."

"I don't give too many fucks about them either, so we're even." I grin and Harry laughs, smiling at me. He leans into me and kisses me sweetly, taking me by surprise. Before I can even register the kiss, he pulls away. My pulse has quickened, and my breath hitches as he stares into my eyes.

"Just follow me, yeah?" He says. I nod, getting into my car.

As I follow Harry's car out of the lot and onto the main street, I think about how different Harry is around his other friends. If they show up somewhere or call him, his eyes immediately darken and he acts like an entirely different person. I hate that.

As Harry turns onto different roads, I find myself recognizing the streets less and less. He finally parks in front of what appears to be some kind of pub. I park next to him, my brow furrowed.

"What is this place?" I ask Harry as I lock my car.

Harry shrugs. "Sometimes we meet here," he answers. He looks at me. "Stay close."

I wait for him to reach for my hand or something, but he doesn't.

We walk through the heavy front doors and into the building, the smell of alcohol and cigarette smoke immediately engulfing me. I wrinkle my nose.

Groups of people lazily smoke at tables while others play pool and darts in a corner. A busty bartender cleans glasses with a rag, chomping gum between her teeth.

Harry stops walking abruptly in front of a booth by the window. Luke, Zayn, Perrie and Jane occupy it. Perrie smiles kindly at me and pats the seat next to her, which I gladly take. Harry slides in next to Jane.

"Blair," Luke says, his eyes dancing in amusement. "What brings you to our little slice of hell?"

I swallow at his choice of words. My eyes flick to the scar on his cheek and imagine Harry causing it with a broken bottle.

"She was with me," Harry answers for me, shaking me from my thoughts.

"Where the fuck is Penny already?" Luke asks, thankfully dropping the subject of me.

"She texted and said she can't make it," Perrie says.

"She's probably busy with some guy," Jane snorts. She winds her arm around Harry's and I try to catch his eye, but he looks away.

"What happened to that pretty dress you were wearing at the party?" Luke asks me. I don't remember seeing him at the party, but of course he was there. Of course he had seen.

"Oh...I don't know. It was too tight for my liking," I say.

Jane snorts. "Honestly, the one time you look hot enough to actually get laid, you make excuses."

I flush and look down.

"Really," Luke adds. "I would have--" His eyes go to Harry and he immediately stops. "Anyone would have taken you in that dress," he corrects himself.

"Enough, guys," Perrie says and I'm thankful. Out of all of Harry's friends, Perrie is my favorite. I shoot her a thankful smile and she returns it.

"Harry, you up for Tuesday night?" Zayn asks.

"Sure," Harry replies.

"What's Tuesday night?" I ask.

"Pool competition," Zayn answers. "We actually need a fourth for the team...Blair, did you want to come?"

"No," Harry answers for me. "No, she doesn't."

"How do you know?" I retort. "I would love to," I say to Zayn. "What time?"

"Eight is good," Perrie says. Harry's eyes blaze.

"Great," I say. "I'll be there." I have no idea why I just agreed to playing pool here with Harry, Zayn, and Perrie, but Zayn and Perrie are nice, so maybe it won't be so bad.

"So...are you two a thing now?" Perrie asks Harry and Jane. I look to Harry, who still won't catch my eye.

"I'd say," Jane says, smiling flirtatiously at Harry.

I feel bile rise in my throat. "Excuse me," I say, getting up from the table. I have no idea where the bathrooms are so I just walk through the bar and out to my car, leaning against it. Why didn't Harry correct her? Did he want to? Why did he kiss me and tell me he loves me when he still wants to be with Jane?

I take deep breaths and run my hands through my hair.

"Blair, what the fuck?"

I don't have to turn around to know it's Harry. I roll my eyes and turn, crossing my arms over my chest.

"Why did you agree to pool on Tuesday? Don't you think there is a reason why I already said no?"

"You don't control me any more than Louis does," I snap.

"I'm not controlling you, Blair, I'm protecting you, and if you knew what was good for you, you would fucking listen to me."

"I don't need your fucking protection!" I shout, using his own words against him. His face folds in anger.

"Yes, you do, Blair, because I don't want to see you get hurt!"

"Oh, really? Then what the hell was that back there? With Jane?"

"What about Jane?"

"She was all over you and you didn't do anything about it!"

"Why would I do anything about it?"

His words are like a slap in the face as I stare at him in disbelief. "Because you told me you love me last night. And you kissed me. Am I supposed to be your little secret rendezvous? Your little girlfriend who never sees the light?"

Harry's eyes dilate. "Girlfriend? You thought you were my girlfriend?" He almost laughs.

I flush and look away.

"Let me tell you something, Blair," Harry says. "I don't have girlfriends. I don't fall in love. Do you know why? Because it makes everything so much fucking easier, which you have just proven now."

I stare at Harry. "Fine. I get it." I turn and fish my keys out of my pocket unlocking my car.

"Get what?"

"I know that it's me that's doing something wrong, okay? You've made that pretty clear with all your business with Jane, so I'll just stay away from you, then." I get into my car and turn on the ignition.

"Where are you going? You don't know your way around this part of town."

"Then I'll get lost," I say through gritted teeth.

"Let me drive you."

"Over my dead body."

"Alright, fine. When you do get killed finding your way out of this part of town, I will drive your dead body to the fucking morgue!"

"Good, then you won't have to deal with me and my goddamn problems anymore!"

"Take that back."

"No." I start to shift into reverse.

"Take it the fuck back, Blair!"

"Why? So you can tell me that you care about me and then make me feel like a fucking idiot when Jane drapes herself over you?"

"You're jealous, aren't you? That's what this is about!"

"Fine, Harry, I'm jealous. Is that what you wanted to hear?"

"You're being--"

"A bitch? Thanks. I didn't know." I try to shift into gear again but Harry stops me.

"You're not leaving here without me," he growls.

"Who's going to stop me?"

"I am."

"You and what army?"

"Louis."

I gape at him. "You wouldn't."

"Would I? Or maybe I should call your suddenly protective dad, too!"

"Shut up, Harry! Just shut up!" I look away, breathing heavily.

Harry's silent. He knows he's gone too far. "Let me drive you," he says more quietly.

I know that it's no use fighting him. I reluctantly slide over to the passenger seat, looking out the window. I hear Harry shift gears and back out, away from the bar.