Lights (2013)

53

Louis and Eleanor drive me home.

"So you guys are a thing now?" I ask blandly.

"I guess so," Eleanor says.

"Well, when you say it like that," Louis retorts.

"Sorry." She clears her throat. "Oh, yes, Louis is such a gentle and passionate lover--"

I giggle and Louis rolls his eyes.

I part my lips. "Louis," I say. "I'm sorry for doubting you." I look down. "You were right...about Harry."

To my surprise, Louis doesn't smirk or tell me that he told me so. He sets his lips into a tight line and nods curtly.

When we arrive home, I'm peppered with questions from Lottie, Fizzy and the twins.

"Did you bleed a lot?"

"How many stitches did you get?"

"Did Harry cut you?"

"Does it hurt?"

I answer all their questions plainly and trudge up to my room. I lay on my bed and stare at the ceiling.

After all that Harry said to me, and that I said to him, I still wasn't good enough. All the times he told me he loved me, he always knew that he slept with Jane. He had kept it from me. And the worst part is that everyone--even my own stepbrother--knew but me. I thought he was my lights, but I guess I was wrong.

I get up and walk over to my bureau, my fingers running over the top, looking for my mother's ribbon. Fear shoots through my when I don't find the silky material. I stand on my tiptoes and scout every inch of the bureau without success. Just when I need a piece of my mother the most, it's gone. More tears spring to my eyes and I sit back down on my bed, utterly defeated.

There's a quiet knock on my door. "Come in," I say in a monotone.

Eleanor peeks in, her eyes sympathetic. "Are you alright?" She asks softly.

I don't answer.

She walks over to me, sitting on my bed beside me. "For the record, I think he's a douche," she says, referring to Harry.

I don't move my eyes from the ceiling. "Thanks, that really makes me feel better," I say sarcastically.

Eleanor sighs, looking out the window. "He wouldn't leave your side, you know," she says quietly. "He insisted on riding in the ambulance with you and he stayed up all night. He didn't even eat. And he almost lost it when the nurse tried to put in your IV...he didn't want anyone to hurt you."

I sit up a bit on my elbows, careful not to disturb my stitched up cut. "He cheated on me," I say bluntly.

Eleanor purses her lips. "I've been cheated on before, too," she says. "It's not fun."

"He told me he loved me," I whisper, laying back down and returning my eyes to the ceiling. "He said he's loved me since we were...since we were kids."

"He said he was drunk--"

"When is he not drunk, Eleanor? When is he completely sober enough to make the right decisions?" I raise my voice. "Even if he isn't drunk, he still manages to fucking hurt me!"

"I'm sorry, Blair. I don't know him as well as you do." She puts her hands up in surrender.

I sigh. "I'm sorry," I mumble. "I'm a little on edge."

Eleanor parts her lips sadly and pulls me into a hug, carefully dodging my bad arm. I shut my eyes and breathe in her sweet smelling perfume. I'm glad she's here with me.

"So you and Louis, huh?" I ask when we pull apart.

She blushes. "Uh...yeah."

I grin. "I'm so happy for you guys!" I squeal, trying to sound upbeat.

"He just told me how he felt about me at the party...I guess we're just kind of great together."

I smile. "I'm glad you guys hit it off."

She looks down. "Me too." She suddenly snaps up, excitement engulfing her features. "Oh, I forgot to tell you!" She squeals. "Appleton quit!"

I stare at her. "What?"

"She resigned this morning from the admin position. Something about 'being sick of young adults playing pranks'...I wonder who might have caused that." She giggles.

"That's great!" I say. "So does that mean you're allowed back in the dorms."

"Technically, yes. But I'd love a roommate who isn't a snobby twat bitch." She waggles her eyebrows.

"I don't know, El. Isn't it a bit late to apply for a dorm?"

"No! I have connections. I can get us the biggest room!"

I open my mouth to protest, then stop. Since Harry and I are no longer together, I don't have any ties here. And who knows what kind of great people I meet if I actually move onto campus. I shrug. "Alright," I say.

Eleanor grabs my hands and grins. "Yay! I'll call tonight. Pack your bags, bitch, we're moving as soon as your stitches are out!"

"What about Louis?" I ask.

"I already talked to him. He said he'd come up every weekend for the parties." She blushes.

I smile. "Great!" I'm glad someone is able to have a good, honest relationship.

Eleanor grins and gets up to walk toward the door. "Oh, Blair," she says. "Thanks again for all the hospitality. Your parents are very nice...not to mention your siblings." She winks and I laugh.

"No problem, El," I say.

"I owe you one," she says before exiting my room.

I switch on the TV and lay back on my bed. Despite everything that's happened, Eleanor has made me feel better. Moving onto campus will help me forget about Harry. Once I have these wretched stitches out, I'll be off to uni and it'll be like nothing ever happened. I won't have to see Jane or Harry again.

I hope.