Lights (2013)

5

When I finally wipe away my tears minutes later, I take in where I am. I'm in a small bedroom with a queen bed in the middle. A large window faces the back of the house so I can see the pool. Muffled shouts echo from down below as drunk people splash in the pool. A desk is off to the side with a laptop on it and a flat screen TV hangs on the wall. I must be in a guest room of some sort. I decide I am too distraught to go down there to get Louis to take me home so I sit on the bed and decide to sleep or think to pass time.

"Don’t be chicken." His words echo in my mind bringing me back to that day in my front yard when Harry and I were seven years old.

"Truth or dare?"

"Dare."

"I dare you to...yell 'I love ponies and butterflies' and run in a circle," I tell him as we sit on my front lawn. My daddy is out with that blonde lady again. I saw them kiss one time when they thought no one was looking. I asked him why he did that later. He told me she was his sister. He yelled at me when I called her my aunt, though. My mum had this weird look on her face like she was trying to decide what color the sky was. 

I laugh as Harry does his dare, my neighbors staring at us strangely. I giggle when he falls flat on his back out of dizziness.

My mum is inside. She told us to play outside until it got dark, and then I could sleep over at Harry's house. She packed my bag, and it now is sitting on the porch. 

"Okay! Truth or dare, Blair?" 

"Umm...truth?"

"Come on, Blair,” he says. “Don’t be chicken!”

"Fine. Dare." I roll my eyes at him.

"I dare you to...go inside and spy on your mum!" He says. I smile, standing up and running towards the house. 

I open the door and close it softly so she can't hear. I hear a noise coming from upstairs, so I tiptoe until I'm outside her bedroom door. I listen softly to the sound of a blaring radio. I cover my ears and creep inside. I look around to see envelopes spread out on the bed, but no mum. I see that her bathroom door is shut, so I press my ear to it. I hear my mum's muffled crying coming from behind the door. I nudge the door open, peeking inside. 

My mum is slumped against the cabinets, a bottle of wine in her hand. The mirror is broken, shattered all over the bathroom tile. She has cuts all over her arms and legs, her white blouse stained in red. My parents' wedding picture lays broken on the counter, she must have thrown it at the mirror. Her dark hair is matted with blood and sweat, sticking to her face. 

That's when I see the flash of silver pulled off the floor. I hear a loud click, and I see my mum press a gun to her head. I push the door open the whole way, screaming. 

"Mum!" Her eyes lock on me for one second, and then she pulled the trigger. 

Bang.

Her body slumps to the floor. I stand there frozen for a few moments before screaming again. Blood spills out from the hole in her head, I grab a towel pressing it to the wound. My hands shake as I push on her shoulder. 

"Mum? Mum, please wake up! Mum!" I cry.

I'm full on crying now as I relive the memory. My shoulders shake as I remember my mother's tear-stained face. Every single day I remember that memory, some part of it snakes its way into my mind. I could never forget the look in my mother's eyes. I stand and grab a vase from the dresser and smash it to the floor, running my hands through my hair. My life had been ruined in a matter of seconds.