Lights (2013)

37

"What?"

"Be my girlfriend, Blair," he says, surely this time.

I roll my eyes. "Don't do me any favors," I snap.

"Blair, I want you to be my girlfriend. More than anything," he says.

I swallow the lump in my throat. I look away from him.

"Isn't that what you want?" He asks me. I don't answer, avoiding his gaze. Why am I so reluctant? Isn't that what I want? Isn't that why we're fighting now?

"You fucking stump me, Blair," Harry says. "You really fucking stump me." He backs away from his car, turning and walking back into the warehouse, without a second glance back at me.

I know the right thing to do is to go find Louis and tell him to take me home. To forget Harry ever asked me to be his girlfriend, to forget the entire conversation we just had. I know I could easily go home and forget about all of this, and just talk to Harry about it tomorrow. 

But I can't do that.

Instead I find myself walking back into the warehouse, searching for Harry's green eyes and curly hair. I know I'm making the wrong decision. I know Harry will continue to fight with me all the time, but suddenly I'm okay with that. I'm okay with anything he wants to do as long as I'm his. As long as I'm his lights. 

The music seems louder than ever as I catch sight of Penny's blue hair. I walk up to her as she talks to Luke, throwing her head back in vicious laughter. 

"Hey, Blair," Luke greets me. 

"Hey, hi," I say absently. 

"You look nice," Penny says, looking me up and down. "Perrie's work, I see." I nod. 

"You, uh...look nice too." I examine the tight red dress she's wearing. How is she breathing in that thing? 

"Have you guys seen Harry?" I ask urgently. 

"Somewhere on the dance floor," Penny says. I nod, weaving through the crowd until I see him. He's leaning against a wall, his arms crossed over his chest, his many tattoos visible on his exposed arms. His black t-shirt hugs him perfectly and lights from the dance floor bounce off of him. His eyes are cast downward, as if he's thinking. 

Salt Skin by Ellie Goulding begins playing as I carefully make my way to him, trying to formulate what I'm going to say to him. He looks up as I come closer. His eyes darken. I stop in front of him, tucking a piece of hair behind my ear. 

"Hi," I say. Harry doesn't say anything. He seems to be taking in every detail of me as I stand before him, memorizing me. His eyes are cold and uninviting.

"I'm sorry," I find myself saying. He stares at me. I take a bold step forward. My heart is beating out of my chest. 

"I..." I search for the right words. "I don't think I should drink alcohol, because I obviously get very annoying and weird and giggly and you caught me by surprise back there and I just--"

"What the hell do you want, Blair?" Harry's voice is cold.

I swallow. "I want to be your girlfriend," I say. "I want it more than anything. I want you more than anything."

Harry's lips part as the music bursts into the chorus. I wrap my arms around his neck and kiss him, trying to tell him that way how much I want this, how much I want him; how much I want us.

I half expect him to push me off him because we're in such a public place with prying eyes, but instead he pulls me close to him, holding me in his arms protectively. I feel light as a feather, weightless. I love Harry, I love all of Harry, and I want him forever. 

He is the lights in my life, after all.

(BLAIRRY!!!)