Lights (2013)

16

My father doesn't see me and Harry looks over at me, his eyebrows raised. I know we can't drive away, my father would just give me a ticket, even though I'm his daughter. I begin hyperventilating.

Harry slowly hands over his license. My father's eyes widen when he recognizes the name on the license.

He looks up at us, eyes narrowing.

"Want to explain what I just saw?" He asks slowly.

"I--" I look away.

"Get out of the car," he commands.

"Dad--"

"I'm an officer, and I'm telling you to get out of the car!"

I shakily step out of the car. My father's gaze his heavy.

"Get into my car while I have a chat with Harry," he says.

"Dad, no!" I say. "I'm an adult--"

"Blair. Get in the car."

I scowl at him and slide into the passenger seat of the cruiser. A sick feeling stirs in my stomach. My father leans on my car, sticking his head into the window. I can't see his facial expression, or Harry's. I know this can't be good.

Minutes later my father gets back into the cruiser, starting it and speeding off abruptly. "You won't be seeing Harry again," he says.

"He's my best--"

"He was. He was your best friend. I won't tolerate anything more."

"I'm an adult--"

"So were your mother and I when we had you!" He bellows.

"This isn't about you, or mum!" I yell. "For once, just take the focus off of you!"

"Blair, you are being unreasonable. I am your father and as long as you live under my roof, you will listen to me!"

"Then I'll move. I never wanted to live under your roof anyway!"

"You don't have the money to move out, and even if you did, I wouldn't let you!"

"Why not? It seems to me you can't wait until I leave so you can have your perfect little new family without any flaws!"

"What are you talking about?"

I scoff at him. Of course he knows what I'm talking about. "I'm a flaw in your perfect life. If it was up to you, mum and I would have never existed!"

"You're wrong, and you know it." He pulls into the driveway.

"You treat me like absolute shit, so if I want to be with Harry, I can, and I'm sure as hell not going to let you control me!" I get out of the cruiser, slamming the door behind me. I groan when I realize Harry still has my car. I storm up to my room and flop down on my bed, covering my face with my hands.

"Blair!" I hear my father call. I lock my door. Harry doesn't call or text. I wonder what my father said to him. I pick up my phone and dial his number.

"Hello?"

"Harry, it's me."

"Blair, I can't talk."

"Harry, please," I beg. "Just...pick me up?"

He sighs. "I can't. I'm...busy."

"What did my dad say?"

A pause. "Nothing."

"Harry..."

"He's...he's right, Blair. I'm not good for you."

My heart sinks. "Harry--I need you."

"Bye, Blair." The line goes dead.

Anger surges through my veins at my father. I unlock my door and storm downstairs, ready to give him a piece of my mind. I find my father in the kitchen with Jay. They look up at me, astonished at my angry entrance.

"Why are you ruining everything?" I yell at him. He puts down his mug of tea, brow furrowed.

"What are you talking about, Blair?" He asks me.

"You know exactly what I'm talking about," I snap. "I won't stay away from Harry, I don't care what you do or say." I cross my arms over my chest.

"You will stay away from him, Blair. He's trouble!" My father yells.

"No, he's not. He's my best friend. I love him!" I bite back. Jay nudges the twins and Fizzy upstairs. "You always do this. You take the things I love in my life and ruin them. You take the lights from my life and make it dark!"

"You don't know what love is, Blair. You're far too young."

"I know better than you ever did! Did you ever even love mum? Did you? Or was she just another notch in your belt?" I scream.

"You have no idea how much I loved her, Blair. If I could change the past--"

"But you can't, can you?" My tone is full of venom. "You can't, and what's done is done. You hurt her when she was your wife and your best friend!"

"And Harry's your best friend, too, isn't he?" My father retorts. "I won't let the same thing happen to you and Harry that happened to me and your mother!"

"The difference between me and mum is that my best friend actually loves me!" I yell. "Does Jay even know how mum died? Did you ever tell your wife that you killed your best friend?"

Jay gasps, covering her mouth with her hand.

"You and I both know that isn't true Blair--"

"You practically put the gun in her hand!" I shout. My father recoils. I turn to look at Jay who's crying. "She committed suicide, my mum did. And I saw it." Jay grips onto the counter for support as I ramble on. "I called my lovely father, who was too busy getting shit faced to care. Oh, and did I mention he was cheating on her? Five years he cheated, right in front of her!" Tears stream down my face at the memories.

"I was in a bad place--" My father starts.

"Yeah, damn right you were! Apparently so was mum!"

"We all were--"

"I bet you don't even care that she died," I snarl, wiping tears from my face.

"Of course I do," my father snaps. "I loved her--"

"Bullshit and you know it!" I scream. Louis rushes into the kitchen, bewildered. "You didn't even believe me when I told you what happened that night. You thought I was imagining it. So don't--don't--fucking tell me you ever loved mum like she wishes you did!"

"You don't know anything, Blair, and you still don't!" My father's cheeks are flushed with rage. Louis returns to the kitchen, the door swinging shut behind him. He looks worried and stands by Jay.

"Right, because I'm just a mistake. Something that you wish you could erase, but can't!"

"Blair, you know that's not true--"

"Yes, it is true. It must be, if you take away all the people I care about!" I shout. "First mum, now Harry!" I push him, hard. He staggers back, shock flashing on his face. He grips the counter for support. I've never been so angry in my life.

"Blair--" he begins again.

"You don't deserve Jay. You don't deserve these stepchildren. You don't deserve anyone!" I yell, moving towards him again.

Someone reaches out and holds me back. I turn to see Harry, pain etched into every angle of his face. His eyes are dark as he locks gazes with me. He must have come in with Louis. I know from his expression that he heard everything I said, and I instantly hate myself for it.


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