Lights (2013)

54

"And there you are, Miss Price," Dr. Keegan says. "Good as new."

I look down at the light pink scar on my left wrist. I run my fingers over the delicate, healing skin. I've gotten so used to having the stitches there for the past two weeks that it seems almost foreign to have them out. "Thank you," I say to the doctor.

Dr. Keegan smiles. "Just try not to reopen that bad boy anytime soon, you hear?" She chuckles and I smile.

"I'll try my best." We shake hands before my father pays the final bill and we're on our way.

...

The sun is warm on our backs as we cross the parking lot to our car. I rake my fingers through my hair, utterly emotionally exhausted. I haven't seen Harry in what feels like forever, and it hurts. My love, my best friend, did the one thing that could break us apart. But for some reason that doesn't stop me from randomly dialing his number into my phone and staring at it until the screen gets dark.

I slump into the passenger seat of my dad's car dreading the fact that I have to go home only to pack. I'm glad I'm leaving though, hopefully uni will allow me to get away from the drama. From Harry.

"So tomorrow you and El leave for uni," he says on the ride home.

I nod. "I'm excited."

He smiles at me. "I'm proud of you, Blair," he says. "And I want you to know that if you're ever uncomfortable staying in the dorms, you can come right back home."

I beam. "Thanks, Dad."

He nods. "Now, try not to get too drunk on weekends. I just paid for your stitches, I don't need to be paying for a liver transplant."

"Don't worry," I say. "I'll only need a few kidneys. Nothing more."

My father laughs. "I'm going to miss you, Blair," he says, reaching over and putting his hand on my knee. "I love you."

I smile. "I'll miss you, too, Dad." I reach over and give him a light hug, still slightly wary of my scar. It's going to take me a while to get used to treating it like normal.

My father clears his throat and looks over at me. "I heard about you and Harry," he says quietly. "He told me."

I look at my lap. "Yeah?" I ask, trying to detach for the conversation.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

I look over at him, the 'no' forming on my lips. I look at the sympathy and worry etched into his features and before I know it, I'm telling him everything.

I start from the beginning and tell him all the things Harry said to me, and how he slept with Jane when we were together. I tell him how he cut me on accident on the arm, but he knew what he was doing to my heart. I tell him what Jane said to me.

When I finish, he reaches out and puts his hand around mine, squeezing gently. I wipe the tears from my eyes before they can fall and sniffle.

"It hurts, Dad," I say. "It really hurts."

"What hurts?"

"Everything," I say. "My chest feels like it's caving in on itself."

"It's heartbreak," he says. "I'm no stranger to it, either."

I nod. "Will it ever get better?"

"Eventually," he says. "You're strong, Blair. You did the right thing by leaving him. You'll be okay." I smile.

"Thanks, Dad," I say. He pats my hand before turning his gaze back to the road.

I get out of the car once we arrive home and notice another black car in the driveway. My blood goes cold.

I walk into the living room and put my things down. I swallow and step into the kitchen.

Harry sits at the table, hands folded. His eyes are cast downward and his gaze snaps up when I walk in.

Exhaustion laces through his features. I feel a pang in my chest.

"What are you doing here?" I ask, guarded.

"I heard you're leaving for uni tomorrow," he says, his voice deep.

"You heard correctly." I walk over to the fridge and get out a water bottle, taking a sip. The cool water washes over my throat, calming me slightly.

"I guess I just wanted to say goodbye." He stands and puts his hands in his pockets. My chest aches at the pure sadness in his features; the way his shoulders are slightly hunched and his mouth is curved in a tired frown. His eyes aren't their usual light green, instead they're so dark they're almost black.

"Alright." I cross my arms over my chest.

"And I'm sorry," he says. "For everything."

I nod. "Alright."

He stares at me a moment before nodding. "I hope you have a great time at uni," he says. "And I want you to know that I'm going to miss you, even if you're not going to miss me."

I bite my tongue to keep from breaking down. I nod curtly. "Goodbye, Harry," I say steadily.

He looks at me for a minute, just staring into my eyes. Finally, he nods and walks out the back door, pulling it shut behind him.

I lean against the counter and take a deep breath. I walk up towards the door about to go after him, but I don't. I can't. I rest my back against the door, and cry. I cover my mouth to muffle the sobs. I slide down into the a sitting position in front of the door.

The last two weeks haven't been easy for me, but I can see they've been even worse for Harry. He probably hasn't been sleeping at all, not to mention he most likely hasn't been to Dr. Stone, either. Anger boils up inside of me as my conscience lashes out. He cheated on me. He deserves every ounce of pain he's feeling.