Lights (2013)

42

I feel horrid. I take a shower and get dressed, brushing my hair and leaving it in its natural waves. I swipe on eyeliner and go downstairs.

I grab an apple from the kitchen and go to work.

I slump into my seat at the register. Today is busy; customers line the shelves of books, perusing the isles.

Liam watches me. "Are you alright?" He finally asks around eleven.

I shrug. "I don't know. I didn't sleep much last night."

Liam nods. "I see."

I look at him. "Do you have a girlfriend, Liam?"

He shakes his head. "I did, but we had a huge fight a couple months ago and broke it off."

"I'm sorry about that."

He shrugs. "Don't be. It was a long time coming."

I nod. "What made you guys break up? If...you don't mind me asking."

"No, I don't mind. We were just fighting a lot and neither of us wanted to put up with it anymore."

"Did you love her?"

"Well...when we were dating, I thought I did, but looking back on it...I don't think it was love that I felt."

"Really."

"Yeah. I think it might have been just infatuation."

"Oh." I look at my nails. "How do you know if it's infatuation or love?"

Liam shrugs. "It's something you just know at a certain time," he says.

I nod. "Why does it have to be so complicated?" I ask.

Liam shakes his head. "I don't know. It doesn't seem like it should be complicated."

"Agreed." I sigh. "Tonight I start my night shifts."

"Did you want me to stay?"

"You don't have to, it's fine."

"Really, I don't mind."

"Liam, I'm sure you have things to do. You can stay another time." I smile at him.

He smiles kindly. "Alright, but just let me know if you need company."

"Thanks, Liam."

"No problem."

The rest of the day goes painfully slow. I keep my phone off, knowing Shawn will get mad if I try to check it for messages from Harry. Liam leaves at five and I lean back in my chair, waiting until the clock strikes nine and I can leave.

I open a book to read and lose track of time. I don't notice when someone walks into the store. A book slides across the counter toward me.

I put my book down and I grab the other book to ring up. I notice it's entitled Hush, Hush.

"Great choice," I say absently as the customer hands me money. "I loved this series." I put the money in the register.

"Did you."

I snap up and lock eyes with Harry.

I swallow and push the book toward him along with his change. Should I be mad at him? I know he's mad at me from the way he told me to leave last night.

"I see you finished Mockingjay," I say, guarded.

"No," he says simply.

"Oh." I look down. "Can...can we talk?" I look up at him, and his eyes unexpectedly soften.