Big L
"I hated this program when i was in college i dreaded the subject closely related to the program im taking right now. I didnt want this but my parents dreams me to be part of it. I declined sooo many time starting from the time i graduated from feu 2 years ago and finally cave in with their demand months ago. They say they dont want me to take anything i wouldnt want, that i have a choice to choose but hearing from them almost everyday that im lucky that they are still willing to pay for that program and that i should take this chance so that i can help my family from being bullied, that hopeful voice my dad makes whenever he mentions the program makes me feel like a disappointment. I graduated with honors when i was in college but it does not seem it was enough for them, when in the first place i worked my ass of to get that title. After college work expections from everyone, i hated the title, it made me feel like a failure. Now its already 3 am im still up trying to study but in reality nothing is getting inside my brain, keeps on focusing on other things just like this entry haha. Im trying to enjoy this because i cant back out right now, but i question my purpose in life, how long should i prove myself to my own parents that im worth it? That im not a disappointment? I hope this time i can make them really happy, even if my own dreams slowly fading away. Im a mess and lost i hope my love and sacrifice for them will help me find me
Just like what banksy said "" A lot of parents will do anything for their kids except let them be themselves"""
Lost child of the north
2009
Institute of Arts and Sciences (IAS)
FEU Manila
