Illusion

chapter 43

I dare you to listen to this song while reading!

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There's darkness.

There's then everything white.

There's light...and there's pain.

There are images...happiness and sorrow and everything.

I was drowning.

Mr. Doodles was there. I watched the flames in which he died. I saw my mother again and again. I saw the little girl taking my hand and then leaving it...and then taking it and then leaving it...and then finally leaving me alone. I saw him too. I saw Liam and his perfect blue eyes.

I saw him...

I did...

I really did...

There was so much pain. My head was hurting. Where am I? Alive or dead? I tried to open my eyes and damn my head feels so heavy as if somebody has put his weight all over me.

"There's an activity..." a woman screamed. I couldn't open my eyes yet. There was so much pain. My head was burning with pain. I couldn't feel my lips. I couldn't open my mouth.

There was so much pain.

Trying to open my eyes slowly, which I did. There was this white room and so many strings attached to me. There was this blood pipe passing through my hand and then there was this white wire. They were attached to my left hand. My lower back was paining miserably. The room was all white. I had no fucking idea who I am right now. Everything's faded.

"How are you feeling?" she asked me. I let my tear slid down my cheek. "You will be fine," she tells me.

There was no one on my side. Liam wasn't there. I don't know how my father is right now. I don't even know if he's alive. I don't know where Anderson is. Did he touch me? Did he..? I was feeling so lost. There was me...just me alone in this darkness and nobody here to hear my cries and my pain and to tell me that I will be alright. Did he leave me? He never said that he love me. Maybe he did. I was after all just a miserable girl after all, fighting her own demons.

And then there he was standing on the knob of the door. Eyes fixed in mine and I couldn't stop myself but cry. His perfect eyes blurred in pain and his hair shaggy and different.

Cry in pain.

Cry in guilt.

Cry in forgiveness.

He stood there looking at me, eyes drawn into mine so relieved that he didn't leave me; that he was there. I was grateful that I was not alone this time. I was not that thirteen year old girl. He looks at me and I at him. His t-shirt covered in blood. He moves closer to me not caring about the doctors in here.

Hold me.

He sat next to me on the bed taking my free hand in his and kissing me. He couldn't say anything. I couldn't say anything just look at him unaware of my reaction. I wanted to capture him for once after all. I wanted to have my fill of him. I wanted to have him for a lifetime.

"Hey," he said as a tear slid down my cheek. I know it's so silly. But it's me. It's us. I nodded in response couldn't let my voice get all emotional and teary and there it gets back. That night...when Anderson...tried to kill me and my father, I started to cry.

"Shhh..." he said kissing my hand again. I closed my eyes not being able to look at him.

Humiliated

Guilty.

Agony.

Pain.

"I'm here," he says kissing my hand again and again, "I am here. I am so sorry...don't cry please." He said as water touches my skin. I realized it was his tears. "It was all my fault." He says in a whisper in his own deep condolence voice.

"It wasn't." I said crying out. Crying out because of the pain both physical and mental, "Is he alright?" I asked referring to my father and suddenly my visions became blurred. My eyes started closing and my lower abdomen paining from the ugly truth and the physical pain. I take my hand to touch my lower abdomen to see why it was causing such pain and I saw blood...so much blood. "I love you" I tell him again as if this was the last thing I might say to him. The whisper coming out from my body maybe the last message I'll convey him and tell him.

"I know. I love you too...I do... I really do, stay with me, please." He said kissing my hand.

Doctor!" Liam screamed taking my hands off from his running away. I smiled at him as he looked back again at me, "Doctor!" he screamed again. My visions blurring again as I tried opening my eyes. I saw two women came running towards and doing things to me. Liam held my hand again. His glossy eyes blurring with tears, "You'll be alright." he says. I kept on smiling at the sight. I kept on looking at him till my last vision, till I capture the face entirely. Happy tears rolled down my eyes. I smiled at him. Physical pain taking my body, I held his hand with all my strength and power. I held him telling him what he means to me. I didn't have much of my time with him yet he felt so close and dearly to me. I was smiling at the sight. I was grateful to see him by my side. To care for me for once and for all. To be with me.