Chapter 41

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It's been a few days since Gwyneth showed up, and Chris isn't the same man he was before she turned up. He won't talk to me about it and, if I try to help or tell him he can talk to me he lashes out, he's angry, I am too but I'm not doing this, I'm still going about my life as normal. Right now I'm sat at the dining table eating a bowl of cereal, it's 6:30 I woke up because my nightmares are back, Chris is still sound asleep, I wish I could change things go back in time and some how stop Gwyneth from coming here, I need to go to work, I need to take my mind off this, it hurts. It really fucking hurts. Seeing Chris like this, he's on edge, he is shutting me out, he isn't Chris. Well not the Chris I married. I quietly go into our bedroom and grab some clothes and get changed, I leave a note:
Morning, I've gone to work. See you tonight. Love you.
I get in my car and go, I just want to burst out crying, I want to break down, the stupid pregnancy hormones are doing this. I'm fine. I don't want to cry. I pull up into my parking space, and a tear falls down my cheek. Damn it. Stop crying. Stop. Please. I try to calm myself, I take deep breaths but the tears don't stop, I need to talk to someone, I will go and meet the guys after work, I quickly text them in a group chat:
Camilla: Hey guys, I hope your all ok, I need to meet you all tonight, can we meet at the bakery once I've finished work. Don't tell Chris please.
Guy: Sure, that's fine by me, is everything ok?
Jonny: Yep I'll be there. What's up?
Will: I'll see you there, are you ok?
Camilla: I'm fine. Chris on the other hand is not. I'll tell you later got to go, see you tonight.

I get changed into my scrubs, I have to get them a size bigger now because I have a baby bump so my normal ones don't fit as well as they used to. I check on my patients, discharge a couple, and assist in a heart transplant, it's a pretty dull day. I catch up with Olivia briefly, I have this feeling, I've had it all day, it feels like people are staring at me and talking about me, I think I'm just paranoid, yeah that's it. I'm being paranoid. As I leave the hospital I don't get changed out of my scrubs, I quickly text the guys and tell them I'm setting off, I arrive at the bakery after 20 minutes driving there was lots of traffic. I text Chris and tell him I'm having coffee with Hannah, and that I'll be late back, he doesn't reply, great.

I walk through the doors of the bakery, the guys are all sat around with a cup of tea, I help myself to some, "Hey guys!" I say trying to sound positive, "Hello Millie, what is the matter?" Guy says, I sigh, I had a plan I knew what I was going to say, but now I feel like I'm wrong like I shouldn't be here, "Gwyneth is blackmailing Chris and now he won't talk to me and he isn't himself, I don't know what to do." I say I feel myself start to cry. Stupid hormones. I try to stop the tears and fail. "Sorry, it's just my hormones." I half laugh, the guys all look confused, "How is Gwyneth blackmailing Chris?" Will asks, "I don't know he said something about, she will end my career if he doesn't go back to her." I feel my anger bubbling inside me just from talking about her. Bitch! "Well that explains the newspaper doesn't it?" Jonny says, Guy and Will both shush him, "What newspaper?" I ask, they all look at the floor, "What newspaper?" I repeat, "Well Chris is in the newspaper, kissing Gwyneth, it's a recent picture you can tell, it was published today so the picture is probably from yesterday." Guy says, wait Chris was kissing Gwyneth, the words hit me like a truck, I feel numb, I knew this would happen, I'm not good enough. He said to me he would fix it, he told me he could do it without cheating on me, but I suppose he doesn't expect me to find out. "S-so he's cheating on me?" I mumble, "Wait you didn't know?" Will speaks up, I shake my head, "I can't believe this is happening. How could he? When I'm carrying his fucking child!" My voice gets louder, I feel more salty tears fall down my cheeks, "Anyway I need to go. I have to talk to him. I just wanted to ask you guys if you could try and get him to talk to you, I wasn't here, I was having coffee with Hannah." I say my goodbyes and leave the bakery, I'm so close to losing my shit. I want to punch a wall. I drive home tears still streaming down my face, I stop at a shop to grab a copy of the papers, so I can confront him.

When I get home I try to fix my face, there's no point but I might as well try to put on a brave face, I sigh, are we over before we began? I walk through the doors, "Chris! Where are you?" I shout, "In here." I follow the sound of his voice, this is gonna sting. Rip the band aid off Millie you can do this. "Care to explain yourself?" I ask him, "What do you mean?" I throw the newspaper at him, "Don't play dumb." I try to stay calm, it's not really working out for me, "Millie I'm so so-" before he gets to finish I cut him off, "Chris. What the fuck are you doing? Why the fuck did you do this? And why didn't you tell me! I had to find out from the fucking newspaper! I stick to my promises, so when I promise that I'll love you when I hate you I mean it, but you are really making it hard for me to do that! Because right now I want to rip your head off! You cheated on me!" My jaw trembles, don't cry. Don't fucking cry. "Let me explain." I don't want to hear his lies. Not right now anyway. "No Chris. Not now. Neither of us are thinking straight. I'm going to bed, I'm angry, so don't talk to me, explain tomorrow." Is all I say, before I turn and go to our room, I collapse on our bed and cry myself to sleep.

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