Sherlock Imagines and Preferences

Difficult To Be Loved

Requested by LifeInsideTheTardis 

''What would you like to talk about today?'' Your therapist, doctor Heston, wondered. You bit your lip and fiddled with your fingers. You were always nervous during therapy sessions. You were never sure if the things you heard or saw were real. You didn't want to embarrass yourself in front of someone else, so you were always very careful when you spoke to others. That didn't mean that you lied or kept things from your therapist. No, you were always honest and completely open. ''(Y/N)? I know it's hard for you, but I can't help you if you don't speak.'' Your therapist smiled kindly at you. ''I know.'' You mumbled. ''Is something troubling you, (Y/N)?'' Doctor Heston asked. You nodded and sighed. ''There's this guy. I think I'm in love with him but I'm too afraid to tell him. I also haven't told him that I have schizophrenia and I'm scared that he'll never want to see me again.'' You explained, wiping the tears from your eyes. ''Tell him.'' Your therapist advised. You shook your head, you couldn't tell him that!

''I know that it's not easy for you to start relationships, and it's also not easy to date someone with schizophrenia, but it is possible and it's worth a try.'' He explained. ''I'll try.'' You mumbled. ''Well, you know where I am. What are you waiting for?'' You turned your head and saw Sherlock sitting next to you on the couch. ''How long have you been sitting there?!'' You exclaimed, scared that you had embarrassed yourself. ''Is there someone else here, (Y/N)?'' Doctor Heston asked. You looked back at him and realised that Sherlock wasn't really here. ''How often do you see or hear things that aren't there?'' You thought about it for a second. You never really knew when you were talking to real person or if you were making them up. ''I don't know.'' You answered honestly. ''I want you to start taking more medication. Two pills every twelve hours.'' Your therapist decided. ''But I'm already constantly asleep because of them. How will I be able to do anything if I'm constantly exhausted?'' You protested. ''You'll get used to it.'' You nodded and ignored Sherlock who made a rude comment.

You finished your weekly therapy session and were in a cab on your way to Baker Street. You decided to accept your therapist's advice and tell Sherlock about your mental disorder and about your feelings for him. You arrived at Sherlock's flat and paid the cabbie before heading inside. ''Sherlock?'' You called. ''In the kitchen.'' He called back. You took a deep breath and went to the kitchen. Sherlock was experimenting on a few thumbs when you walked over to him. ''Hello, (Y/N). What brings you here?'' He asked, not taking his eyes off of the thumbs. ''I need to tell you something.'' You looked at your feet, too scared to look at Sherlock, and fiddled with your fingers. ''You have schizophrenia and you're in love with me.'' He deduced. Your eyes widened and you looked up. Sherlock was now looking at you and he had a smirk on his face. ''H-How did you know?'' You stammered. ''Oh, wait. You're not really here, are you?'' You sighed and looked down at your feet again. You hated when this happened. Especially when it was an important situation or when you were nervous. ''No, I'm really here.'' He said. ''I deduced it ages ago, but I didn't say anything because I didn't want to hurt your feelings.'' You shook your head, still not looking up. ''I don't believe you.'' You muttered.

You suddenly felt a hand lift your chin up, forcing you to look at Sherlock. He leaned forward and pressed a kiss on your lips. He let go of your face and pulled back, smirking. ''Do you believe me now?''

~A Few Months Later~

Things were great since you started dating Sherlock. You were afraid that Sherlock would be bothered by your disorder, but he wasn't. He understood that you were often very tired because of your medicine and would let you sleep as long as you needed to. He understood that you struggled with concentrating for a long time and never got angry or upset when you stopped paying attention. You constantly asked him for his opinion on everything, just to make sure that you weren't doing anything wrong, and he never complained once.

You had never felt this loved before in your life, but it was still hard for you. You sometimes felt like Sherlock didn't truly love you or that you were too needy in the relationship. This was exactly the opposite of how Sherlock felt. He genuinely loved you and he loved the fact that he could help you. It made him feel important and like he mattered. He didn't mind that you told your therapist everything or how you would sometimes sleep all day. He loved you and he was just happy to be able to spend time with you.

Sherlock also helped you to find a type of medication that suited you best and you didn't have many hallucinations anymore. Admitting your feelings for Sherlock was the best thing that you had ever done. You didn't have to see your therapist anymore on a weekly basis and you felt better than ever before.

A/N:

Thank you so much for 60K reads! I can't believe how many that is. Thank you so much ♥

Also, I'm nearing 100 parts and I was wondering if I should do something special for the 100th part? Do you guys have any ideas? Let me know!

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