To Be Alone

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Requested by the_Writing_Bear 

This song is so amazing, I highly recommend it. Thank you so much for 175K on this book and for over 5K on Dark Secrets. It means so much to me! All your lovely comments are what keeps me going. I hope I managed to entertain you with this oneshot. Let me know in the comments. Have a lovely day ♥

~***~

Never feel too good in crowds

With folks around, when they're playing

The anthems of rape culture loud

Crude and proud, creatures baying

All I've ever done is hide

From our times, when you're near me

Honey, when you kill the lights, and kiss my eyes

I feel like a person for a moment of my life


It was a wonderful, quiet afternoon. You and your husband, Sherlock Holmes, were cuddled up together on the couch, watching crap telly. Neither of you worried or stressed, it was a peaceful moment and you were both enjoying it immensely. 

''She's quiet today, isn't she?'' Sherlock pointed out. ''Shh! Don't jinx it!'' As if she had been waiting for this moment all afternoon, your daughter started crying as soon as you finished your sentence. You groaned and buried your face in Sherlock's shirt. ''Why did you say that?'' You whined. Sherlock chuckled and pressed a kiss on the top of your head. ''Sorry, Love.'' He got up from the couch and hurried upstairs to soothe Delilah.

He soon returned, your little girl in his arms. Her eyes were still watery, but you could tell she was happy to be back downstairs. ''Hi, little girl.'' You cooed. ''Did you sleep well?'' A small nod answered your question. Sherlock joined you on the couch again, placing Delilah on his lap. She instantly curled up on his chest and stuck her thumb in her mouth, something she always did when she was tired. You gently stroked her chubby cheeks with your thumb and smiled as her eyelids drooped a little.

Delilah was the beam of light in both yours and Sherlock's life. She could cheer you up by simply smiling her adorable, toothless smile. You cherished every moment you got to spent with her and prayed that she would never grow up and leave, but that was inevitable, of course. Your small family was just perfect. Or so it seemed... 

You had a secret, something that no one besides you knew. Not even Sherlock had been able to deduce it despite the obvious signs. He was blinded by love and the happiness he felt clouded his ability to see that there was something terribly wrong. You had become an expert at hiding it, but you knew you wouldn't be able to keep it up much longer. Your drug addiction was starting to spiral out of control and what started out as a simple release once in a while became the worst decision you had ever made.


But you don't know what hell you put me through

To have someone kiss the skin that crawls from you

To feel your weight in arms I'd never use

It's the god that heroin prays to


Sherlock arrived home after solving yet another case. He loved going out to crime scenes, but he always looked forward to seeing you and his baby girl again at the end of the day. The door made a clicking noise as he unlocked it. He smiled and was about to announce his arrival when he saw the thing that would forever haunt him at night. The door was slammed shut as he rushed over to your motionless form, crouching beside you and desperately calling your name. His fingers grazed your skin as he frantically looked for a pulse or any other indication you were alive. But he found none. Uncontrollable sobs escaped his lips as he held you against his chest, begging you to wake up. The agonising cries of Delilah soon erupted from upstairs and filled his ears. It made the pain so much worse. He had lost his wife and Delilah had lost her mother.

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