Sherlock Imagines and Preferences

Gasoline

Requested by AC_A99 

Song: Gasoline by Halsey

I hope you all enjoy this oneshot. Thank you so much for all your support and love. Please, let me know if you enjoyed this songfic. I always love to read your opinions and reactions. It never fails to give me a good feeling and I can't thank you all enough for that. Thank you ♥ 

~***~

Are you insane like me?

Been in pain like me?

Bought a hundred dollar bottle of champagne like me?

Just to pour that motherfucker down the drain like me?

Would you use your water bill to dry the stain like me?

Dropping the bloody bag containing your gun and ruined clothes, you went to your boss' office to tell him you succeeded the mission. He called you inside as soon as you knocked on the door. ''You're back soon, (Y/N).'' Jim stated, not glancing at you and just focussing on his paperwork. ''He wasn't hard to kill.'' You retorted. ''It's taken care of then?'' He wondered. ''Yes.'' You answered, maintaining a tough attitude. ''Good.'' He looked up from his paperwork and gave you a small smile. ''Thank you, (Y/N). You can go home now. I'll let you know if I have another mission for you.'' You nodded and turned around to exit the office. You grabbed your bag from the floor and hurried out of Moriarty's home. You hated being there. You hated everything about working for Jim Moriarty. He treated you as if you were his slave and in some ways, you were. You got paid for the jobs you did but you didn't feel like an equal to Jim or even an employee. 

No, you felt like you were nothing but a puppet who obeyed his every command. You missed your independence. The independence you had before you started working for Jim. You missed being able to take a few days off from work and go on holiday and just spend some time relaxing. Jim wouldn't allow you to do that anymore. He was constantly calling you to give you another mission. You were barely able to sleep or simply sit down and read a book. There was always a job to do and you were tired of it. You had no freedom anymore. Jim never acknowledged how much and how hard you worked. In his mind, he deemed it natural for a person to devote their entire life to him so they could take care of his business. But you doubted that you'd be able to handle this for even longer.

And all the people say

You can't wake up, this is not a dream

You're part of a machine, you are not a human being

With your face all made up, living on a screen

Low on self-esteem, so you run on gasoline

You were done living the way you did. You no longer wished to work for Moriarty, but you knew that you couldn't get out of this business. He had eyes everywhere and even if you'd attempt to run and hide, he would find you in a short amount of time and end your life. You didn't want to die, but you also couldn't live like this anymore. You were suffocating in your situation and you were ready to give up. Ever since you were a little girl, you considered yourself a strong individual who could make her own choices and be who she wanted to be. But Jim had taken that away from you. You saw that as a part of his strategy to ensure that his employees would stick with him until they died at his hands or someone else's. He isolated you from your friends and family, forced you to live far away from them and wouldn't let you speak to anyone but him and his other employees. You felt alone. You lost the strong character you once had and became a lost and obedient puppy. At least, that's how you felt. Jim had sculpted you into something he wanted you to be. You weren't you anymore and you hated it more than anything, more than the job you had to do every day.