Saving Styles

Little Bird

Hannah's POV

I knocked and waited anxiously as I heard the footsteps approaching the door. A few seconds later, the door opened and Harry looked down at me with that unreadable expression on his face that had become all to familiar.

"Hi." I said timidly, terrified to have the conversation I knew I needed to.

"Hey." He said as he left the door open and walked back into the house.

He seemed annoyed, which I guess was understandable, as I walked in and closed the door behind me. He plunked himself back down on the couch where he'd obviously been sitting before he got up to answer the door. I slowly walked into the living room, standing in the doorway unsure of whether or not I should sit, since he seemed irritated with me.

"Can we talk?" I asked.

He just looked up at me, his expression flat, before he returned his eyes to the TV.

"We've already had this conversation, remember?" He said sharply, throwing my own words back at me as he got up from the couch and made his way to the kitchen, grabbing a beer from the fridge.

I followed him into the kitchen, putting my purse and jacket down on the dining room table as I walked by. I took a deep breath and tried to compose myself as I stood in the doorway of the kitchen.

"I'm sorry I said that, it wasn't fair." I said.

He stared at me for a second before he crossed his arms, leaned against the counter and sighed.

"You were right. I was upset, and I know I had no right to be. I should have just told you when you tried to talk to me but I knew I had no reason to be upset. I needed to think about it and understand why before I could explain it. I know how hard it is for you to communicate sometimes and I know it took a lot for you to try to talk to me about it and I just shut you down, so I understand why you're upset with me."

He didn't respond, he continued to lean against the counter, taking a sip of his beer every couple of minutes as I spoke.

"I'm fucked up, Harry. I try to act like I'm not, but I am. I trusted someone once and it left me broken and devastated and wondering if I would ever survive it. I hate that it's changed me, that it's made me someone who can't trust myself let alone anyone else. I just can't ever go through that again, and I already trust you more than I've ever trusted anyone in my life. I can't even explain why, I just do, and it's the most terrifying thing that's ever happened to me."

He sighed before he turned to look at me, his expression slightly softer than when I'd arrived but he was still annoyed.

"Hannah, I've never given you a reason not to trust me. If anything, I've been more open with you than I ever have with anybody." He said as he fisted his hair in his hands in frustration.

"I know, and I know how hard that is for you. I know it's irrational and unfair, I'm just trying to be honest. I don't know what we are, I don't know what we're doing. And when I saw Angie looking at you like that I just thought maybe you'd rather be with someone like her instead of me. Maybe you'd realize that you're too good for me and that would be the end of whatever this is." I looked down as I fidgeted with my hands, embarrassed to even admit that the thought had even crossed my mind, but it was true.

"It blows my mind that you could even think that. How could you possibly think that could be true?" He asked in complete disbelief, his mouth practically hanging open.

"I was jealous. I hate the idea of you being with someone else, I hate the idea of someone else touching you or you touching them. I know that's ridiculous, but I can't help it. I know I have no claim on you and you're not my boyfriend but I still hate it. I hate that Angie of all people knows you that way and I don't. I hate that you've touched her in a way that you haven't touched me, that she knows what it feels like to be close to you that way."