Saving Styles

Don't Ask Me

Harry's POV

My bed felt cold and empty without Hannah in it as I laid awake staring at the ceiling. I'd sent her home with Niall after dinner, not wanting Louis and Liam do know just exactly how close we were and not feel comfortable leaving them alone in my house over night. I closed my eyes and tried to remember what it was like to have her there, hoping maybe the thought of it would let me relax enough to sleep, but it didn't help.

I smiled to myself as I remembered our conversation earlier where she said she'd be my girlfriend. It was a little weird, since I'd never had one before, but I loved it. I was still pretty convinced I'd be a shitty boyfriend and fuck it up somehow, but I was proud of myself for giving it a shot. I imagined the look on Gemma's face when I get around to telling her and almost laughed out loud.

I tossed and turned as I thought about Hannah, the way her body fit against mine like a puzzle piece and the gentle way she ran her fingertips over my skin. Thinking of her touching me led my mind to a dirty place as the image of her ass in the yoga pants she had on earlier popped into my head. I had never been so attracted to someone in my entire life, add the fact that I hadn't had sex since that night at the pub, and I was about to explode at the thought of her. It was rare for me to go that long without sex, but it wasn't generally an issue until Hannah would show up and all she had to do was look at me and I'd feel myself getting hard. Sometimes the sound of her voice when she called would do it, she barely even had to say anything. I found myself having to get myself off before I saw her just so I could control myself around her, and it was getting harder and harder with every day that passed.

Part of me was dying to sleep with her, hardly able to even keep the thought out of my mind every time she touched me, but I had to admit a huge part of me was hesitant. I liked sex, I was good at it, but what I wanted to do with Hannah wasn't just sex. I was good at the technical, physical part of it. I knew how to get a girl off and make her feel good physically, but I wasn't sure I was capable of connecting to her on an emotional level. I knew I felt emotionally connected to Hannah, but I just didn't know if I could transfer that into a sexual thing. Shutting off during sex is what I'd always done, I'd never done it any different, and it was the only way I knew how. The last thing I wanted to do was make her feel like that's all I wanted her for.

My train of thought was interrupted when I heard someone throwing up in the bathroom. I walked out into the hall and into the kitchen where I wet a cloth and grabbed a bottle of water before heading to the bathroom.

I found Liam curled up on the floor, shaking and sweating as his body withdrew from the drugs in his system. I crouched beside him and put the cold towel on his forehead and opened the bottle of water and held it out so he could sip it. I took a deep breath as I grabbed the bottle of Advil out of the drawer and handed him two. He popped them into his mouth and took a drink of water to swallow them. I only hoped he could keep them down long enough for him to somewhat help his symptoms.

I sat down on the floor next to him, leaning against the wall and wishing there was more I could do for him. It wasn't the first time I'd sat on my bathroom floor in the middle of the night while one of them went through withdrawal, I just prayed that this would be the last time. After a while, Liam seemed to perk up slightly. He seemed to have stopped throwing up and was a little less shaky as he sat up and leaned against the wall beside me, taking a deep breath. I held out the bottle of water and he took it and chugged it.

"Thanks." He said when he finished, holding it out in front of him as we both rested our arms on our knees. "Not just for the water."

"I know." I said as I nudged him and smiled slightly.