to all the glowing eyes ✎ joshler

october 1

will;

i'm gay.

well at least i think i am.

i spent all day yesterday thinking about it and that's why i couldn't write anything. my mind was spiraling off into so many thoughts.

i'm 90% sure i'm gay.

but i still like girls.

but i don't see myself in certain scenarios with a female partner.

i looked stuff up and holy crap is this rabbit hole deep. there is so much terminology for a lot of sexualities.

from what i've gathered, i'm panromantic homosexual. it's a weird thing. let me explain.

pan is basically saying that i fall in love with anyone, no matter their gender or sexuality, etc. that's when the 'romantic' part comes in. homosexual on the other hand, means that i only get sexually attracted to boys or those who identify as male.

it's a little complicated and i explained it horribly. but my point is, i like boys and girls, in different ways but still.

this explains why i feel attracted to the boy and collette at the same time...?

maybe?

i'm not quite sure.

i just know that i fall in love with people and just wanna have sex with boys.

ok? ok.

t.r.j.

„"„

josh stares blankly at the page for a solid minute or two.

the way t.r.j. was so open to write about their sexuality surprises him a little. even if they are open about everything else.

being bisexual himself, he feels a little bit of the connection with them.

"so you're a boy, huh?"he chuckles to himself, yet again, alone in his room.

his mind drifts off into thinking who the boy could be. he sees so many faces around school every day...

focusing on the world history class should be the best start. it's only november so the boy must still be in the class.

josh closes the journal and puts it on his backpack, behind his notebooks so it is somewhat secure. he knows he'll find the boy. he just has to look a little deeper.

{🌹💌🌹}

hi.

i crave death.

and yes, i still believe that them just being gay or bi or pan is cliché by now so here ya go with a new sexuality, kiddos

k bye

-alaska