to all the glowing eyes ✎ joshler

december 24 pt. 2

will;

it's been a while since i've written on you. so much has happened. i can only summarize it by saying that i fell back in love? josh came to look for me here and we spent a lot of time together. i'm still a little mad at him for kidnapping you and never telling me about it, but i can't help to smile whenever i think of him.

i know, i know. what about awsten?

i still like him. he's so sweet and kind. he's the perfect guy, but i don't know if i deserve him. that's not the sadness talking, by the way. he's done so many good things for me and always texts me to know how i'm doing..

meanwhile, i'm kissing josh and not telling him about it.

i suck. i really suck. i'm a level below actual garbage.

the guilt of not telling awsten about josh is eating me alive the more i think about it. when he comes back i'll confess to him. and i will tell him that i really like him. is that a bad move? i'll have to ask jenna. i want a chance with him, he could be my happy ending..?

saying goodbye to josh still hurts. i finally had him back y'know? i guess it's best for us to keep on with our lives; i'll try to message him once in a while.

i'm gonna go, jenna wants help with christmas dinner. don't know why she's cooking it already but oh well.

let's hope this isn't my last entry in a while. i missed you, old friend.

t.r.j.

„"„

people usually say that buying presents the day before christmas is the worst thing you can ever do and they're right. the stores are full with big crowds, everyone trying to get last minute presents or get some type of sale.

josh has entered a panic mode. he has ideas for gifts, the issue is the money. he can get jordan a video game, but who knows how expensive it'll be. he can get his mom and ashley some makeup, but he doesn't know how much those palettes they like cost. he can get his dad a new tool box to replace the one he has, but... no that's probably the cheapest option. either way, anything he has in mind will cost him at least more than $200, which is an exaggeration since he only has $57 on him, the rest on his debit card.

"dude, i can pay for the gifts. calm down," brendon puts a hand on josh's shoulder to bring him back from his spiraling thoughts. they really pass around the panic like it's a hot potato.

"no. i already owe you enough for the trip. i can't repay you both."

i mean, there is a way, brendon thinks to himself. he immediately regrets it. this is josh for god's sake! he actually has feelings for him, or at least that's what he still thinks. is having your heart beat faster than a hummingbird's whenever he even looks in your direction the same as being utterly infatuated by someone? "fine. we can buy it together and say it's a joint gift. people do that."

"couples do that. we're not a couple," josh jokes, he's being a bit serious too. he knows his family will think that brendon and him are an item if the tags on the presents read 'from: josh & brendon'. he doesn't mind being coupled with him by his friends, it's standard procedure, but his family will never let it go. he doesn't want his friendship with him to be ruined.

if he only knew.

"alright then, have fun going empty handed, dude," the older of the two walks away, heading to the sephora across the mall. before he can give two steps forward, josh sighs in defeat.

"you win, let's get the presents... together."

"you're making me blush, joshua," brendon winks at him and laughs. he puts his arm around his friend and they walk inside the gamestop to get the first present.

"shut up. you're so annoying, how am i your friend?" josh rolls his eyes, he takes the arm off his shoulders and starts to look for the game jordan mentioned to him weeks ago.

brendon shrugs, the smug smile never leaving his lips. "i ask myself the same thing. i think it's because we're meant to be together, dude."

"forever and always, huh?"

"i guess. now let's get these damn presents before the stores close."

{🌹💌🌹}

i'm currently obsessed with starkid musicals and the heathers musical too so that took most of my time today. great stuff, totally recommend both

only one left, y'all. it's a big one

i wanted to include more stuff in this chapter but it felt too drawn out so, it's a short one like the first chapters

see you soon

- alaska x

p.s.: thank you for 53k+ reads, y'all are gonna make me cry

p.s.s.: i'm an astrology slut now so i looked up how compatible aries (brendon) and geminis (josh) are and i'm dying at the results, apparently they're an amazing match. the 'sex' section has me in tears