to all the glowing eyes ✎ joshler

october 8

will;

i can't stop thinking. i just can't.

my mind is talking non-stop 24/7.

it's annoyingly hard to ignore it. it keeps getting louder and louder. i try to push it away but it comes back.

i can't stop thinking.

i barely got any sleep last night cause i kept getting nightmares and my mind kept me up when i wasn't getting tortured by my subconscious.

torture someone else's sleep.

i have slept only 3 hours this week. and it freaking sucks.

it haunts me by day and night. meaning that even if i try to gain back some sleep during school, it's useless.

i can't stop thinking.

is this how it feels? i don't want this.

i want it to shut up and leave me alone. i want it to let me sleep.
i want it to get out of my life.

torture someone else's head.

t.r.j.

„"„

with his now new knowledge of who the person writing this is, josh can totally picture the poor sophomore boy going through this hell of mental health issues.

just by looking at him, the tiredness of his personality says it all.

josh has a list of many diagnoses he could give the boy based on the common symptoms. one of those being depersonalization and a slight hint of social anxiety accompanied by adhd as shown from the many doodles along the pages and sudden change in themes throughout each entry.

"how can i even begin to fix you..."josh says to himself as he makes some notes on a pad he now uses to write down things he notices about the mental health decay or just things he should know by the next time they talk.

which, after having a talk with the councilor, she let them go since they both aren't guilty of any big violations to the school rules. josh was given a warning and that was it. the boy disappeared before he could say anything else to him.

he goes over some of his notes and sees that the boy wanted to see josh play at some point.

conveniently, he has a game tomorrow that defines whether or not the team goes to the finals. "i'll look out for you, joseph. don't you worry about that."

{🌹💌🌹}

this is so shit i'm sorryyyy

i wrote it quickly at 2 am so UNEDITED AF

k bye

-alaska