to all the glowing eyes ✎ joshler

october 29

the next entry on the journal is mostly doodles. some are flowers, stars, clouds and so on. nature related things.

a few of them are colored. and it's the roses. all of them are in different colors: red, white, pink, yellow....

"j-josh?"tyler brings josh back to reality with his sweet, angelic voice. the sophomore still gets shy around his friend, how he blushes whenever they speak to each other is quite adorable.

"sorry. i was day-dreaming i guess."

"it's okay. i just want your opinion on this slide. should i keep this font or change it back?"

josh examines the last slide on the powerpoint presentation displayed on his computer. the font is called bakery, it has a calligraphy feel to it. "i like it. really fancy. mr. jefferson might appreciate that."

"okay. i'm almost done."

"you didn't have to do this all yourself."

tyler chuckles,"only because you're gonna do most of the talking. i'll still get too nervous and mess up my parts."

"don't say that. you're gonna do great." before the younger boy can move forward and continue the project, josh places his hand on top of his. it's only for a moment, but it feels like forever. the touch is almost electric, with a sense of warmth to it.

there is no other comforting thing that can surpass this. tyler's whole face turns red, his hands becoming shake-y and sweaty. his speech also becomes more stuttery. "t-thank you-u.."

after a short awkward silence, they look at each other shyly. every millisecond goes as slow as it can go. it truly seems like no time has passed since they started to exchange this glance. their eyes flicker between their eyes and other key features of their faces.

"you're so k-kind to me, josh.. first y-you defend me, then you bring me f-flowers, now this.. i d-don't know how to repay you..."

"you deserve this and so much more. even if you don't realize it. god, i hate seeing how people treat you. you're the sweetest person i've ever known and if those assholes can't see it, then to hell with them."

the deepest, darkest shade of red isn't even close to describe how much tyler is blushing. he has tears forming on his eyes. his hands are still shaking, often accidentally clicking the 'save' button repeatedly. on an act to keep praising him, joshua takes his right hand again and doesn't let go. at least for a solid 5 minutes.

there is no sexual tension to be found. every feeling is either purely platonic or purely romantic.

hearts beat faster, millions of thoughts come and go. the world seems more vivid, colors are brighter. sounds and smells become even more powerful. don't even ask about touch. every single motion made is felt to its deepest level.

"josh..."

"yeah?"

"thank you.."

"for what?" the look on the sophomore's face isn't what josh was expecting.

"everything."

„"„

josh is sitting alone in his room.

tyler left to go home about an hour ago.

and he misses him.

his whole existence feels empty.

his heart aches for him.

this isn't like anything he's felt before.

„"„