to all the glowing eyes ✎ joshler

october 27

will;

i need to come to terms with my mental state. no, it doesn't mean that i'm giving in to my anxiety.

thanks to miss stirling, i have some methods to calm me down in case i get really anxious or have a panic attack written down.

none are guaranteed to work but hey, i'll take my chances. i have them on my binder so they're handy when i need them.

she has suggested medication for my depression. i told her that my parents don't really know about our sessions and they wouldn't be willing to pay for it.

it kinda hurt to see her scratch that from her notes so...vigorously.

now that i think about it, i should show miss stilring you, will.

maybe if i show her what i've been feeling or thinking she'll understand me more.

is that a bad idea? i hope not.

i'll see how it goes.

t.r.j

„"„

josh taps his fingers against his desk as he sees the people arrive to world history.

he is hoping to see tyler's face on the crowd but he doesn't.

the bell rings and mr. jefferson is about to close the door when a miracle happens. a sweaty, panting and tired tyler shows up. he hands the teacher a piece of paper as he tries to recover from whatever he did.

mr. jefferson skims through the words and sighs in annoyance. "you're lucky this time, mr. joseph. go sit down."

the sophomore nods and nervously walks to his seat. all eyes are on him as he gets out his book and doesn't speak to anyone.

this sets off many alarms inside josh's brain.

during the whole period, he stares at his younger friend. he knows something happened. something big enough for him to skip school.

"go with your partners to keep discussing the project. speak low, alright? no noise or we go back to the lecture,"mr. jefferson says coldly as he sits on his desk and grades some papers.

josh takes less than a second to get up and sit on the desk next to tyler's. "hi,"he says with a smile on his face.

"h-hey. sorry i l-left you alone yesterday..." tyler's stutter has definitely come back, even if he seems to trust josh enough to not be nervous anymore.

"don't worry about it."

"r-really?"

"definitely. it's all good."

josh smiles at his project partner with the purest intentions.

tyler smiles back at his project partner as he tries to hide how much he wants to do something unspeakable.

pretty yellow flowers for the pretty happy boy.

{🌹💌🌹}

this chapter is all over the place

i probably only will write one more since i'm helping my friend through her panic attack and i'm not in the mood to write rn ://

rick and morty season 3 ep. 2 was 11/10

-alaska x