december 18

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christmas is getting closer and closer, and it's more than obvious for such a small town. lots of families have either gone off to visit people in other states or they've stayed to welcome visitors into their own house. however, spencer's family seems to fit none of those categories.

josh joined tyler in his shift at the bakery in the morning, mostly out of curiosity and he also wanted more brownies. now he's helping mrs. smith pack up baked goods for people to pick up. she insisted on paying him for his help, which is always a good thing. "i didn't know people could order so many gingerbread cookies," he comments as he finishes putting the sealing sticker on the box to stack it up with the others.

"the jackson need them for their big family christmas," mrs. smith passes the boxes to tyler so he can ring them up and bill mrs. williams later, "they've ordered way more before, i guess their granddaughters aren't coming these year. they all have kids so they order extra cookies for them."

they continue to work in silence, nothing other than the royalty free coffee shop music filling the air alongside the smell of warm cinnamon rolls. josh takes out a freshly baked tray of cookies out of the oven and places them over the rack to they can cool. "you know, josh, i would love to have your help around here. you'd be pretty useful when spencer goes to college next year. he wants to go to ucla so i'd have a spot open for you. i can always use the extra pair of hands," mrs. smith says, looking proudly at him over how fast he's learned to manage his job.

the proposal sounds really inviting to him. he's basically being handed a job, how many ordinary people can say that? he could live in an apartment nearby and if things with tyler flourish even more they could move in together. they could have the perfect life he's always reading about in harry potter fanfics. what else can he ask for? his heart cannot wait to say yes until his brain holds onto the thought for a moment. he pushes his ideal fantasy aside and puts some logic into it. what would his parents say? they don't even know he's away from columbus. how on earth is he gonna explain that he got a job offer all across the state in a bakery? in the ideal universe they say yes, as supportive as they are, they'd want him to go to college, get a degree and graduate. they've mentioned it ever since he started high school. good grades mean a good college and a good college helps in finding a good job.

but he hasn't even begun to think about his life beyond senior year. hell, he doesn't even know where he wants to study yet, much less what he wants to study. psychology in nyu? art in ucla? marketing in harvard? engineering in mit? would any of those give him a soccer scholarship? if they do, which offer is the best one? and don't get started on student loans... there's so many choices and options to pick that he's already scared of the decision. yes, he's done the whole psat deal and definitely suffered because of it. that doesn't mean he's ready for anything else.

all of that means being away from his home, away from his family, away from his friends, away from brendon and away from tyler. he's nothing without any of them. he knows he can't stay in youngstown. it's very unlikely faith or god or whatever has that planned for him. he can feel that the small town life isn't for him, he knows it. his heart belongs somewhere else.

"that sounds great, thank you so much... but i, i don't think i'll be here next year." he can physically feel the pain in his body as he says this.

"it's okay. don't worry, sweetheart. i understand. you can come here whenever you want, there'll always be a spot for you," the woman gives him a genuine smile and a hug, getting a little bit of flour on his apron.

he hugs her back, tears forming in his eyes. the motherly presence of mrs. smith keeps reminding him of his own mom, and how he's betraying her by being here. he should call his mom or text her to see how things are back home. for now, he sniffs the tears away, fanning his eyes to dry them out when the hug is over. he puts on a straight face and goes back to work.

to all the glowing eyes ✎ joshlerWhere stories live. Discover now