to all the glowing eyes ✎ joshler

december 17 pt. 2

brendon is alone in the apartment again. well, alone meaning jenna is doing her own thing in her room while he's in the living room without company.

he should've expected josh to go downtown with tyler to hang out and get more brownies. he could've gone with them, but he feels like a third wheel enough by just existing near them. he's distracting himself by trying to beat breath of the wild, after all he left that game unfinished when smash bros came out. it feels nice to have a sense of certainty and comfort as he battles the enemies and cooks raw fish to heal.

he's too into the game to notice jenna coming out of her room and sit next to him on the couch. "you okay there? you haven't moved since lunch," she comments, looking at the screen to understand what he's playing.

"i'm fine. not in the mood today."

she nods and looks back to tyler's bedroom door. she can remember the day he moved in so clearly. "i know it's none of my business, but why aren't you out with them? i thought you were always around josh."

"i don't feel like being with him right now," brendon says dryly.

"oh?" she raises an eyebrow, "did you two fight?"

he shakes his head and pauses his game, going to the main menu to talk to jenna. "we didn't. he's been getting on my nerves lately being all lovey-dovey with tyler. it's gross."

"it is kinda gross. no offense to your friend but i cannot understand what tyler sees in him, realistically."

that sparks something inside brendon. "he's the most amazing guy to ever exist, excuse you. he's super kind and sweet. really fucking smart too even though he doesn't wanna admit it. he's also so handsome. no one compares to his beauty, okay? he's one of a kind. i've never met anyone like him before."

jenna purses her lips together and sighs, "alright. sorry. didn't know you were so passionate about this. i though you'd joke with me."

"oh, i am passionate about this. i gotta defend my cr– uh, i mean, my best friend at all times."

"not gonna lie, what you said doesn't sound like you're talking about your 'best friend'. it sounds more like what a guy who has a crush would say."

brendon shakes his head almost violently. no one is allowed to know of his secret. "what? pfff, no. i'm close to him, okay? i know josh like i know my own damn mind. he's like my brother. i can't like him."

"but you do. right? i haven't seen any guys, who aren't a couple, cuddle each other the way you guys do it. you're always with him, and on pizza night i could see you were kinda angry when josh sat close to tyler."

he knows there's no winning the argument. even if he tries to lie, jenna could see right through him. "that doesn't matter. he's my best friend. we're just being us. besides, we've already tried things and they didn't work out."

"what do you mean? you look like the perfect match. you're crazy, he's sane. opposites attract each other."

"he never felt anything for me, nothing that he wasn't feeling already. i didn't either."

she's really putting her psychology degree to good use now. for once, she doesn't have to use it for something that isn't cupcake marketing. "now you do though. i can see it in your eyes. whenever you talk about him you have this joyful glow and shit. you have a crush on him."

"and? he's too into tyler to notice. i don't wanna ruin our friendship anyway. i can't just tell him "hey, by the way, i've realized that i have romantic feelings for you so please date me." i'm not that crazy."