My mafia leader

40

*not edited*

You know the feeling you get when your world has come crumbling down?
That's what I'm feeling. Hes here but he isn't here. It's like I'm a ghost. He can't hear me nor  can he see me. It would be better if I had never woken up.........

It's been an entire month since he helped me threw my PTSD. Now it's like he feels guilty or regrets not leaving me.

I sit combing my hair at my vanity looking at my sad, deepened eyes. Any one could look at me and know that I'm broken.... I'm a broken girl and only one can fix me. Yet this person is so close but so far away.

The door opens up and in steps Emilio. I turn in my stool to look at him. When our eyes meet he says nothing. He just looks at me before quickly averting his eyes. He starts to head toward the closet.

"Why?" I croak.

He doesn't give me a second glance before he is in the closet. I stand and go to the door frame. "Why are you pushing me away? Please talk to me."

Nothing.... As usual.

Tears start to streak down my cheeks. "Please say something."

Nothing.

Hanging my head lowly. I walk over to my suitcase where I start to throw my clothes inside. I can feel him watching me, as my heart breaks even more since he makes no attempt to stop me.

With all the clothes I head to the main bedroom where I collect the rest of my things. I zip it up and set it by the door. I Stand an look around the room, for one last time. I take out a small note pad and pen out of the desk.

Dear husband,
I can't bare to be a burden on you. I'm sorry for the trouble I've caused in your life. I love you with every fiber of my being. I always will.
Please forgive me for the mess I've created. Please don't feel guilty for not leaving me sooner.
I will never forget you my love. But I need to go. I can't look in your eyes everyday and not see the sparkle, and love in your eyes. I will forever be yours, and you will forever be mine.
No one can take the place in my heart, the part In which you hold. I can't say In This world any longer. I was supposed to die at the fair that night..... It was my calling. And now I'm alive, but this time it's my choice. My choice up stay or go... And I choose to go. To fly away with my mom.....
If I loose myself, I loose it all. And I've already lost everything.

They say love can't kill you..
This time it has.
Love makes you crazy.

Love,
Rosalia.

I lay the note on the bed. My eyes wander to the closet in which he hasn't emerged from.

I leave the room and head out of the house. My feet dont stop not until I'm at the car. I don't know where I'm going, but I'll end up somewhere..... And that somewhere will no longer be here.

Here is with him.
Here is with my heart.
Here is with my love.
Here is with my life.

And I'm leaving it all behind.

I will never be whole without him... I will never be myself.... I will never find love. So what's the point? What's in the point in living a life where I can't be loved, am not loved, and a world where I can't love myself. What's the point of anything?

Before I know it I'm going 75 miles per hour toward my destination.......

Destination: Off a cliff and to the bottom of the sea.
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"Love can't kill you."
"It can make you crazy"~everything everything by nicola yoon

A/n
Sorry it's so depressing. Fits my mood, inspired my certain music playlists. Just saw everything everything I also read the book by nicola yoon. So good! You should watch it. (That's where the song was from. Comment or message me if I should write a book based on Olly an maddie, or similar to there's!!!!!)