Twisted Love Affair

Chapter 32

On the side is a picture of Lexi's gun thats her baby right there :)

Chapter 32

The things he did and said hurt not matter what way you looked or heard them. The end result was all the same and in the end that was all that actually mattered. It took everything in me to hold back the tears that were threatening to spill over from my eyes. Collapsing awkward onto my bed I laid there for a few minutes while me feet hung over the edge of the bed.

Pushing myself up and readjusting myself onto my bed I closed my eyes tightly ignoring the aching feeling in my heart. When coming home that night it had been my full intention to go and apologize to Jace. It had been wrong of me to over react to something so small and I knew it.

It was in my nature to become defensive taking my anger out towards everyone else. It was one of my biggest faults something that I’d tried working on. It wasn’t easy especially when it came to me being a completely stubborn person.

That was just how I was though no matter how much I knew that it would hurt other people and my relationships with them. That fact alone made me hate how cold I’d become it was all the anger and hatred that now drove me.

People feared me I was known for being a cruel woman that would kill a person without a second thought. Constantly being challenged by others that wanted to be the lucky one to say they were able to take me out. 

I was hated by many for that reason among many others, but that never mattered to me a challenge was just that a challenge to me. It gave me an open opportunity to break people just to show how much more powerful I was then them.

Everything that I’d gone through in my lifetime was kept to my self it was locked away in box deep down. It was the piece of darkness that everyone had but sometimes it would slip out and threaten to break me down. That was something that I wouldn’t allow.

Maybe just maybe if I let them go it would make me a better person but then when I really got to thinking. All the things I had done in my life since I had joined the Viper Vixens made me doubt that I would ever be in peace.

That was only a piece of who I actually was though in the world were in all everybody see’s is the bad. Nobody takes the time to see the good because they don’t care about that. All they care about is whether they’ll get there, money, drugs, or guns on time. If not then it’s starting fights for territory or just taking on a rival.

That right there is what I deal with being a woman these men don’t take you seriously they wont give you respect. No they treat you like a cheap whore till you show them that your not one to be disrespected. 

The time I’ve been President I’ve shown it to many people time and time again which had given me the hard exterior. Yet in the inside I’m still a girl who feels and wants the guy who will protect her putting any guy in place who disrespects his lady.

With Abel I had all that but the trust wasn’t there things went down that made the love I felt for him different. With Jace he was that strong leader that made men squirm where they stood just by giving them a look. He wanted to protect me from everything and anything.

Which was exactly what I had wanted but it was easier thought then actually done. In my head it was a pretty picture where nothing went wrong but in reality it was always me having my guard up never wanting to fully let him in. 

After talking with Abel I went looking for Jace but he was no where to be found he had disappeared and left the bag with Tito to give to me. Calling his phone it was off going to voicemail every time the longer that passed the more worried I got.