Adopted by Phan

Chapter 23

Dan's P.O.V.

"Yes. Phan is real, we're together." Phil paused and then reached under the desk to grab my hand, smiling.

"This video has been a long time coming, but we haven't quite had the courage to film it until now, but there's a very special reason why. We don't know if we'll announce it at Vidcon or before, but you'll know in the next few weeks."

I glanced down at Jay, who had her head resting up against the desk, a small smile playing on her face. When she saw I was looking she gave me a reassuring look before I moved my head back to the camera. Phil was still talking.

"It's been years, but somehow we've never accidently done something stupid in a live stream or while we were out, even though we did a few times in videos." He looked at me and I took in a deep breath, tapping my foot nervously.

"Umm.. So..." I looked at him for reassurance and he squeezed my hand harder, nodding towards the camera.

"So we might do a livestream later in the week and let you guys ask some question because I'm sure everything might be a little confusing at the moment. Later guys!"

Phil leaned forwards and turned the camera off, pulling me into a close hug when he pulled back.

"You did great Dan. I'm proud of you." He whispered the last part so Jay couldn't hear and then took a quick look at the footage, which had appeared in a folder on the desktop.

"Should we leave it like that? Or edit some parts out?"

"I don't think there's much to edit out anyway, I'll just add it to the end of the clip and the end screen, but I'll leave that blank." He did it quickly, less than 10 minutes actually and before I was even prepared, it was ready.

I spent the time watching the clock, 7:13, 7:14, 7:15, 7:16 and so on. Jay was still sitting beside the desk, running hand through her hair on occasion but she was otherwise still and silent. I made eye contact with her a couple of times and every time she smiled at me, but it wasn't much.

"Hey, Dan, you ready?"

"Yeah." I couldn't raise my voice above a whisper, but Phil knew exactly why.

"I'll release it now and then we can check it in the morning, we might as well try and sleep. Can I have your phone so I can tweet out about the video?" The video was rendering, I could see the bar slowly progressing upwards 10%, 23%, 24%, 47% and then it skipped right to 96%.

It finished rendering within another few seconds and I froze, knowing it would be on the internet.

"It's okay Dan, I'll just tweet about it now." Typing quickly, he opened the Twitter app and typed something in, something that I couldn't quite see.

"Is that okay?"

When he handed my phone back the tweet read 'very important video out now, won't be around to answer questions at the moment, but we will be in the morning. this was a long time coming.'

"Yeah it's fine. Have you got a tweet too?" He nodded and showed me his, which read 'video out now, we've been wanting to talk about this for a long time. answers in the morning.' followed by a link to the video, which had been uploaded but made private, so we could make it public at any time.

"Ready?" This was it.

"3, 2, 1, go." Phil pressed make public on the video at the same time I pressed tweet. He followed with his tweet and then I turned my phone off completely, Phil doing the same.

Jay stood up beside us and I lay me head on the desk, eyes closed and heart beating fast. Phil wrapped me into a close hug, pulling Jay in too.

"We'll be okay, it's done now. It'll be fine." I so badly wanted to believe him, but somehow I couldn't bring myself too, knowing that even though it could be, it wouldn't be all right.

"I think we should go to bed now, then check in the morning. You okay Jay?" She nodded.

"Yeah I'm a little tired. I'll leave you two alone." With that she slipped out of the door and left me leaning in Phil's arm, my brain working too fast, but not fast enough.

Everything I was thinking was almost mushy, I couldn't think straight and nothing was making it's way through, my ears ringing with fear and suddenly, calm.

Suddenly I was feeling calm, I was floating above the earth, nothing mattered anymore. My body and mind were numb, eyes closed. I couldn't feel Phil, his arms still wrapped around my stomach, whispering unheard words into my ear.

I was brought back into the real world when Phil started moving, pulling me to my feet and leaving our phones on the desk. I stumbled down the hallway, Phil being the only thing keeping me on my feet in the hopes I would make it into bed before I collapsed.

We headed to his room, my room hardly being used anymore apart from recording videos. I supposed it would never really be used after that video was out.

I collapsed forwards onto the bed, Phil pulling the blankets out from underneath me and then on top of me, before crawling in beside me, both of us fully clothed. It had been an exhausting day and I knew it would be an even longer day tomorrow, answering questions.

I knew I should try and make the best of the sleep while I could have it but I spent at least an hour tossing and turning, hoping not to wake Phil, who I thought was asleep. He wasn't.

After a little while he turned to face me and pulled me into a hug, my head resting in his chest.

"I know you're scared Dan but we've done it. We've done it, after so many years and there's nothing we can do now. It's gonna be okay, I promise."

"How can you promise that?"

"Because I know."