Adopted by Phan

Chapter 33

Dan's P.O.V.

Mrs Harrow was standing the doorway with a tray of mugs, all of them steaming hot. She handed them out to each of us and it turned out to be a cup of tea for everyone but Jay. I assumed Mrs Harrow knew that Jay didn't like tea, because she had hot chocolate instead.

"Thank you." She was sipping on the hot chocolate happily and swinging her free leg up and down, shifting from side to side on occasion.

"I think I can officially approve Jay to go to Vidcon, I'll just have to come back over the next few days to check again." Jay nodded.

Phil, still sipping on the cup of tea, made eye contact with me and pointed to his phone which was sitting in between the two of us. I turned head to try and see it, and saw a text from Louise who was also looking at me pointedly.

'Jay seems a little off, do you want me to talk to her?' I hadn't actually noticed it, but once I looked a little closer I could see that yes, she seemed to be a little bit tense and her eyes were glancing from side to side rather hurriedly, her fingers twitching.

I shook my head, I had decided I would. She was technically my child and I wanted to help her in anyway I could, it would be a learning curve.

"Jay? Can you come out here?" She looked up but nodded, reaching for her crutches again. The crutches clicked every time they touched the ground, so I knew she was following me as I made my way out of the door.

I made it to the kitchen and sat down on one of the counters, offering her a stool to sit on. She sat down and I could see at once that she was avoiding my eyes, purposefully staring at the floor.

"Are you okay? You're acting a little bit tense." She let out a barely audible sigh and screwed hands together, scratching at her fingers.

"Yeah, I'm just not used to feeling, well, helpless, if that's the best way I can put it."

"What do you mean?"

"I've always liked to have control over everything and even though I grew up with no say in anything at all and once I was out, I had the independence I always wanted. But now," She gestured down at her cast, "I feel like I can't do anything at all, I can't run away like I've always done."

"You know you don't have to run from this right?"

"I know I don't, but I feel like I've been running my whole life and that I'm not, I feel, stuck. Like I'm stuck in a hole." Her voice was bitter and had a feeling she'd been trapped in a hole before, as had I.

"Trust me, I've been stuck in hole before too." Her head flicked up and she looked at me in surprise and shock, eye wide.

"You have?" I sighed.

"Depression. I've had it as long as I can remember and it's only just getting better now." She was still looking at me and I could see someone much older than her years, but also someone so much younger, more vulnerable than she wanted people to see.

She didn't say anything, just reached out her hand and squeezed it tightly, her slender fingers fitting easily between mine.

"Let's just say I definitely won't have control when I'm known to your fans." I shook my head, almost laughing.

"They'll take anything you say or do way out of context, so you'll just have to be careful then."

"Do you reckon anyone will know me at school when I start?" I swore under my breath, I hadn't thought about that before.

"There's going to be someone, I know it so just be careful. You won't be in any of the main classes, it'll just be you and a teacher, but you'll have three choice classes where it'll be with everyone."

"I'm getting special help yeah?"

"You aren't mad?"

"No? Why the hell would I be mad? I know I'm crap and I've literally got a fifth grade education at the moment. Probably less than that when I think about it." I was nodding my head along to her speech, but up until that point I didn't know how much education she'd actually had.

"Were you home-schooled?"

"Up until I went to live with my grandma yes, then I went to an actual school and I had pretty decent grades then so I'm assuming that's where I'm at still. I might have picked some stuff up, but that'd be mostly practical stuff."

"We'll have to organize everything, but we know what school you'll be going too, Officer Briny said it was really good for special help. It's a public school by the way."

"Thank god. I don't think I'd be able to survive in a private school."

----------------------------------------------

We made our way back into the living room, Jay clicking behind me on her crutches and collapsing back onto the couch. Phil was holding a passport which he said was Jay's, and we would need it for travelling to America.

"Jay's still technically a New Zealand citizen but because of her adoption by her grandmother they made a special acceptation for her, and gave her a dual citizenship. Her passports still got another year and a bit before it expires by the way, it was a five year passport and she got it when she was eleven."

I nodded, sitting back down beside Phil and leaning my head on his shoulder and yawning. Again. By that time my cup of tea was cold so I left it sitting on the floor beside the couch, kicking my feet up and turning onto my side.

"You tired Dan?" I nodded.

"I don't think I got much sleep at the hospital and I've still got to catch up."

"You don't think so?" I groaned, hearing the sarcasm.

"I know so."