Adopted by Phan

Chapter 85

Jay's P.O.V.

Louise stuck around for the majority of the rest of the day, helping cook dinner while Dan and Phil had some time to themselves. They were sitting out on the porch on an outdoor couch, just nestled into each other in silence, listening to the wind and the birds.

I was sitting on the kitchen bench looking out the small window that was just above the level of the bench, looking out onto the grass below. Louise was moving from bench to bench with plates and pans of food, making something with mince and some sort of pasta that I didn't recognise.

She was humming something underneath her breath that I couldn't make out and continuing to cook, wandering around the kitchen.

I had taken the prosthetic off, it had been starting to ache on my leg and was getting annoying so I gave up. It had taken a couple of minutes to work out the straps and such because there were several of them, some of the holding the leg up to my hip and some others holding the leg to my leg.

After half an hour of sitting on the bench I slid off the bench, landing on one foot on the ground and grabbing my crutches from the corner, where they were leaning against the shelves. Louise glanced at me for a couple of seconds before finally speaking.

"Are you doing okay?" I shrugged, shifting my grip.

"I guess... I don't know." Louise stopped what she was doing, dropping her spoon into the saucepan and moving around to hug me. I let her, feeling her squeeze me tightly and rock me gently from side to side.

Almost at once I felt myself about to cry, the tears welling up in my eyes and falling down my cheeks and onto Louise's t-shirt. She ran her hand up and down my back in comfort, one arm around my shoulder and she was rocking me side to side in comfort.

"I know you aren't, do you want to tell me?" I sighed, nodding a little while at the same time trying to balance myself. Louise helped me a bit, holding my hands as I almost waddled over to the couch next door, falling onto it.

Louise sat down beside me and I curled into her side, just feeling her chest lifting up and down as she breathed and one of her hands resting on my back.

"You can talk to me, I want to know how you feel Jay." I took a deep breath, rubbing my eyes fiercely.

"I don't know what to do, about- well, anything! I'm terrified..." I could feel the tears welling up again, my hands going over my stomach protectively, feeling the bump in my stomach that housed a child. Louise saw what I was doing and immediately placed her hands over mine, massaging one of my thumbs.

"I know you're terrified and you don't know what to do, but you've got to hold strong." I shook my head.

"I don't know how... that's the point." It was true, I really didn't have any clue what to do anymore. It was mostly to do with the child, I didn't know whether I wanted to keep it or not, knowing that it would be a lifelong pain whether I gave birth to the child, gave it up for adoption or terminated the pregnancy.

I was no stranger to pregnancies, having been around many pregnant women and girls on the streets and I wasn't sure if I wanted to go through it, knowing how painful it was and how much of a toll it took on the girls, especially if they were younger than 20.

"I want to get rid of the pregnancy, but I- I can't... I don't know, it's really confusing." Louise squeezed my shoulders.

"That's your choice you know, you can keep it or you can terminate it, it doesn't matter which because we'll all be here to support you. We all love you and it doesn't matter what choice you make." I wanted to believe it, but as much as I wanted too, I couldn't.

A baby was a hell of a lot of work and there might be even more difficulties, if it was my fathers child, including genetic complications and possible disabilities. I was still dealing with myself, I didn't know if I could deal with a child as well as everything that was raging on in my head.

It was against my own morals to get rid of the pregnancy, I didn't care what other women and girls did, but I couldn't do it myself. There was a living thing inside of me and there was no way I could get rid of the child, knowing it was alive and would one day become a living person.

"I know, but I'm not thinking about me, I'm thinking more about everyone else... I don't know how it will effect them. After all, it'll be Dan and Phil that this 'ill effect the most." Louise nodded.

"They won't care Jay, they might take a while to come around to whatever you choose but it's still your choice." I still didn't believe her 100% but I hoped that what she was saying was true.

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Two days later on the Monday morning, after a little more practise with the prosthetic, I was able to take a few steps, still clinging onto railing or anything I could hold on too. It was painful, sending jolts of pain through me whenever I placed my leg on the ground and I just found it was easier to hop around if I could.

Dan had tried to encourage me not to hop, saying it would hurt me in the long run and would cause damage. I mostly ignored his advice, hopping from my room to the bathroom or down the stairs, because it was easier than attempting to walk and putting myself in pain.

"Jay?! You ready!?" I heard Phil calling up the stairs, glancing around my room quickly. My bag was sitting beside the door and I was wearing a large sweatshirt and shorts, the shorts so nothing would impede my movement more than needed.

I sighed, picking up both crutches and my bag before making my way down the stairs. I had been told that there would be a wheelchair at school in case I needed it and although I was thankful that they were trying to make it easy for me, I wanted to forget about it as much as possible.

I stumbled down the stairs as quickly as possible, seeing Officer Briny standing just inside the front door and Dan and Phil leaning against the wall and each other. I waved at Officer Briny, not having seen him since I got my prosthetic, and he grinned.

"Alright, let's go."