Johnlock Oneshots

guilt

haha this sucks and i kind rewrote tld and it sucks and i'm sorry to the person who requested this there isn't much angst, but i tried my best so please don't burn my heart. i need it. not really, but i would like to have it.

"no, it's okay. let him do what he wants; he's entitled," sherlock said shakily as he looked up at john.

"yes you did," john gritted through his teeth, balling his fists, watching every move sherlock took. he turned around and walked out, leaving the doctors to deal with him.

he visited sherlock, the guilt filling him since he beat him. he was about to leave when mycroft called sherlock's room, telling john to get in the car waiting for him. in it was a computer, john was curious and took it, taping the space bar. a video started to play. it was the night at the aquarium and john watched the full thing. he watched mary jump in front of sherlock, watched the bullet go right into her, watched her die in his arms. he put the laptop back on the seat where it was and told the driver to stop. he got out and started to walk, trying to calm himself. mary killed herself to save sherlock. she took her own life just so sherlock could live. he had been putting the blame on for sherlock for so long, he regretted beating him, but he was high of his tits and pointing a scalpel at people, so he had to, but he didn't have to put him in the hospital.

he walked to baker street as just a sense of habit and when he got there, me where searching through the flat and mycroft was standing in the middle of it. after watching mrs hudson prove mycroft wrong, he found a envelope with a disk that said "miss me?" on it. he automatically thought it was moriarty, but when they played it, mary came up onto the screen. mrs hudson made everyone leave so john could watch it and some words hit john hard.

"so please, sherlock, save the man we both love; john watson." the sentence filled his mind as he went back to the hospital. mary had left a message for sherlock in the video, and sherlock was killing himself to help him.

he got to the hospital and the door to sherlocks room was locked and there was no officer outside. he ran down the hall some and found a fire extinguisher. he took it and but the handle off of the door, finding culverton suffocating sherlock.

after taking care of culverton, and sherlock got the care he needed. john stayed with him, but didn't say a word. sherlock was going to kill himself just so that john would let him help himself. he really didn't understand, but he felt still felt awful for putting him in the hospital and blaming him for the murder of mary, but it wasn't his fault, it was her own fault for jumping in front of him.

john sat by sherlock bed, watching the ekg. "i'm sorry, you know?"

"there's no reason for you to be sorry." sherlock said groggily.

"yes there is."

"no there isn't i killed your wife, i deserved what you gave me."

john looked at sherlock. "no you didn't!" he slightly shouted, making sherlock flinch. "mary jumped in front of you."

sherlock sat quietly and watched john.

"she saved you so i could have you and it's not fair."

"it's what she wanted."

"but it's still not fair!" he cried, putting his face in his hands.

sherlock swoallowed the dry lump in his throat and sat up some, putting his hand on john's shoulder as he cried.

john wiped his face and looked at sherlock. he stood up and hugged sherlock. "i love you," he muttered.

"what?" sherlock asked as he hugged john back.

john pulled back from the hug and wiped his face. "i love you, sherlock holmes."

"well, i love you too then."

john laughed lightly. "no, i mean i love you, you stupid git."

sherlock thought for a minute. "oh." he said realizing it. "oh!" he shouted. "do be sorry, i've been high off my tits for the past week, it takes a while for me to process things now."

john laughed at him. "are you going to say it back?" he asked.

"right." sherlock said. "i love you too, john watson."

john smiled slightly and sat back down, feeling a bit better.