➳ jerrie tumblr oneshots

Hold On To Me As We Go

Summary: Perrie's got issues and she knows it, but Jade does too, and all they care about is touching each other.

"We don't have to do this," Perrie whispers, watching Jade tug her skirt off.

Jade looks up, quirking an eyebrow at Perrie. "Pezza, this was your idea."

"I know, I just...maybe we shouldn't," the blonde sighs, looking away and biting her lip.

Jade frowns and inches closer, reaching out and tucking a strand of Perrie's hair behind her ear. "We don't have to if you don't want to, babe. But I'm ready."

Perrie purses her lips, looking determined and locks blue with brown. "Ok...I'm ready." She takes a deep breath and runs her hand down Jade's arm until their fingers are intertwined. "Let's do this."

/

Jade and Perrie met at the hospital, back before Perrie's scars had faded and her arms were still littered with red lines and Jade still spent most of her time talking to Jesy and Leigh-Anne and drawing weird pictures.

Perrie knew she was fucked up, knew her thoughts were disturbing, and her behavior was erratic. She knew other people didn't hear voices telling them to kill themselves, telling them they're shit, like she did, and she knew other people didn't get the same joy from putting a razor to their skin.

Jade wasn't like that, though. Jade didn't know she was different, didn't understand that other people didn't see Jesy and Leigh-Anne or the other things she saw.

When Perrie met Jade, the older girl hardly gave her a second glance, but Perrie knew she was in love immediately and maybe that was the bipolar disorder talking but she didn't care. She still doesn't.

/

Jade and Perrie clutch onto each others' hands, watching as the bathtub fills with water, waiting until it's filled enough.

"Should we play music?" Jade suggests, glancing at Perrie.

Perrie shakes her head, her hair bouncing. "Let's just listen to each other."

/

Jade can still remember the first time she noticed Perrie like it was yesterday. She still swears that time slowed down and Perrie's hair blew in some invisible wind as she walked into the dining hall, where Jade was sitting- alone for once.

"Wow," Jade breathed out without thinking. "She's perfect."

Jade still thinks that, is still left breathless every time she sees Perrie. She wants to be with Perrie forever, wants to be intertwined with her constantly, attached somehow to the fairy-like blonde, and she never wants to let go.

/

They hold hands as they sit in the tub, both watching the other one, naked in front of each other.

"You're the only good part of me anymore," Jade says.

"But you're perfect," Perrie retorts, her eyebrows furrowing.

Jade shrugs, smiling, and looks away. "It doesn't matter anymore anyway."

/

"She'll never want you," the voices told Perrie. "She'll see how ugly you are. How fucked you are."

For a long time, Perrie believed the voices, especially when she would try to talk to Jade, and Jade always seemed distracted, focused more on drawing (either on paper on herself, it didn't matter to Jade) until one day she ended up seated next to brown-eyed girl during group and Jade reached over and grabbed her hand. Perrie was startled and Jade looked behind her for a moment, her eyebrows furrowing before she asked Perrie if it was ok that she held her hand.