➳ jerrie tumblr oneshots

Beautiful Cause You Love Me

Summary:
So maybe it's not a good idea to fall for your band mate but it's not like that's something you're able to control, anyway.

She didn't ask for this, Jade knows she's a bit off but she can think of at least 153 other, less painful things she'd rather do than pine over one Perrie Edwards. She tells herself that Zayn isn't even that cute, really (it's a lie but she figures if she says it enough that one day she might actually believe it).

Jade wants Perrie to be happy, of course she does, but she also wants to be happy herself. It's hard, though, when everywhere she turns she's reminded that Perrie isn't hers, never will be hers. Leigh-Anne, ever sympathetic, tells her to "tell Perrie or get over it, for fuck's sakes."

Jade now knows never to go to Leigh-Anne for her emotional counselling needs but it still doesn't help her current situation. She figures that there's really no way to tell Perrie without completely ruining the group dynamics. Figures she's seen enough movies to know that things could only go one of two ways: the first being that Perrie confesses she's only been using Zayn to hide her feelings for Jade (not likely), and the second being, because she's Perrie, will feel incredibly guilty whenever she's around Jade and consequently everything will become weird (far more likely).

Who even in their right mind would leave Zayn for her, Jade asks Jesy one day, because apparently her crush is obvious to everyone except Perrie (because she's living nothing short of cliché), to which Jesy replies, "you're a million times prettier than Zayn, anyone'd be lucky to have you". Jade thinks that's awfully nice it of Jesy to say but complete bullshit, however. No straight girl would walk away from a boy who has a face like Zayn Malik's (as it were, Jade's no straight girl).

When she's alone with Perrie, sometimes Jade thinks she'll finally confess, and she comes sosososo close, the words at the very tip of her tongue, but as it happens, the universe hates her, and Perrie's phone lights up with a text from Zayn and she just looks so happy, Jade feels her bravado fizzle and die. Maybe next time, she thinks grimly.

When Perrie's feeling lonely she'll slip into Jade's bed because that's what best friends do and Jade will feel like her heart will explode and it's really not fair because what does Zayn have that Jade doesn't (nothing, Jesy will tell her and Leigh Anne will silently pet her. Sometimes that helps ease the ache but just barely because all Jade wants is a kiss from Perrie. She knows that it's an impossible request but it doesn't stop her from wishing for it every night at 11:11).

When it gets to be too much she phones home and cries and says she misses everyone and they'll coo and tell her that they miss her as well and sometimes that helps too but what she really wants is a cuddle from Perrie where she won't leave to meet up with Zayn a couple hours later. But that won't happen either, because in the end Perrie always gets up and leaves.

And when they're really far from home and the timezones are wonky and calling home would mean getting up at 4 in the morning, that's when everything gets really overwhelming. Because Perrie's just so nice and it's not fair but when Perrie hugs her, and pets her hair, and says everything'll be okay we can go home soon (that's not why she's crying but Jade figures it's better than telling the truth). That's what really helps. Even though Jade doesn't have her in the way that she wants, she's got Perrie as a friend and she knows she'll always have Perrie as a friend. Even if the truth comes out one day, the real reason behind Jade's tears, Perrie won't leave because she's the best person, the most kind and loving person Jade has ever met.

Jade knows she's got three girls beside her and they love her as much as she loves them and sometimes, she supposes, that's enough. One day Jade knows she'll meet someone who will love her as much as she loves Perrie right now and that's sort of comforting in a really uncomforting sort of way because the thought of not loving Perrie is almost incomprehensible.
One day it won't best painful even if it hurts real bad today.

Jade's a reasonable person, as much as a person so in love can be, she's never doubted herself, knows who she is. She figures that even though she can't kiss Perrie, or do anything beyond a platonic cuddle with her, Jade knows she's got Perrie as a friend, a best friend, in some ways Perrie's like her soul mate. She can't imagine life without Perrie, or Leigh-Anne, or Jesy, and she knows she won't have to because a friendship like theirs is built to last and no one goes through ad much as they have only to be torn apart later. When Jade's feeling so sad she could die she tells herself that and she squishes herself between Jesy and Perrie on the couch and pulls Leigh-Anne's legs onto her lap and it feels so much like a family and so what if she can't have Perrie as a girlfriend because she's got Perrie and Leigh-Anne and Jesy as a family.

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Yeah sorry that it ended like that i'm running out of oneshots so i'm updating per 2 days now i hope y'all won't mind x