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There's No Replacing What We've Lost

this one's about 10,000 words, also an emotional one, prepare your hearts.

Summary: It's inevitable, but nothing will prepare her for the day she just becomes another stranger to Perrie. She will never forget her time with Perrie, and she wishes the same could be said for the other girl, but it's obvious that it won't happen - that they won't be so lucky.

or the one where Perrie gets sick, and Jade's life comes tumbling down.

"I wanted a perfect ending. Now I've learned the hard way that some poems don't rhyme, and some stories don't have a clear beginning, middle and end. Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the next moment and making the best of it, without knowing what's going to happen next. Delicious ambiguity."
– Gilda Radner.

//

It all starts with a joke.

The two are walking down the hotel corridor side by side, on a high from a successful show, and a night full of drunken shenanigans with the girls. Nothing important is being said, just small talk and their own inside jokes. When they get to their rooms, they're close to passing out from exhaustion after the long night. And then, Perrie stares at the two rooms in front of her and freezes.

"Are you alright there Perrie?" Jade asks as she tilts her head inquiringly. Perrie stills, frozen in momentary panic.

"Yeah," she answers, although she doesn't sound too convincing. She turns to Jade, scratching her head. "I just – I don't remember which one is mine."

And Jade stares at her, because how could she forget something like that? She starts to laugh, shaking his head at Perrie. She takes out her key card, and unlocks her own door. "Perrie, you need to rest some more love."

Perrie smiles a little and takes her coat off, still looking a little lost. She follows Jade into her room and yawns, resulting in a knowing smirk from Jade. She's always right. "Yeah, I definitely need more sleep."

Jade doesn't like the lack of a smart comment, even if Perrie was proving she was indeed right, so she does the only thing he can think of. She makes a joke. "Or maybe you're just looking for an excuse to get into bed with me."

And then Perrie starts to laugh as she walks away, and Jade relaxes at the familiar sound, and all is right again.

//

Perrie forgets Oh My God, right as she's introducing it to the audience.

Everyone laughs at Perrie thinking she's just mucking about, but Perrie stares ahead absentmindedly. Then she realises where she is, and she plays it up. The audience eat it up of course, especially after Perrie starts joking around with the girls. She apologises, and then they continue on with the show.

There's a couple of smart comments made after the show as they make their way offstage, but Jade tries her best to ignore them. Perrie's been a little off lately, forgetting a couple of simple words here and there, and even putting off coming up with ideas for their future shows or songs. And it seems like something more than a usual level of procrastination to Jade. She never wanted to bring it up with her though, she knows that the high demand of their job could make anyone go a little stir crazy. But this has been an occurring thing recently, and Jade knows more than to ignore something that seems a little scary.

So she goes over to Perrie with a whole soliloquy prepared in her mind about being worried about her, but Perrie just mumbles something about how she's just tired, and how she'll be fine soon.

Jade lets it go.

//

Perrie forgetting her words starts becoming a usual occurrence after that. She forgets simple words like cereal, and music and paper.