Epilogue - Everything's well that Ends well

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Twenty years later...

„Dael, I'm not going to die," I tell him firmly, staring straight into his eyes as he pushes me down onto the mattress with both hands at my shoulders. His fingers claw at my skin, causing a painful stinging sensation. I hiss as he tightens his grip further, narrowing his eyes at me.

„How can you be so sure about that?" he growls, obviously trying hard to hold himself back. His features are tense with worry. Sighing, I lift a hand to his cheek and caress it softly with the back of my fingers. He grimaces as if the touch pains him, then relaxes into it.

„I can't lose you, Allorian."

„I'm going to be fine," I whisper softly, though my voice is shaking ever so slightly. Swallowing hard, I glance aside, sure that he's noticed.

A year ago, I was diagnosed with leukaemia, after Dael had dragged me into a hospital because my blood had started to taste weird. Since then, he hasn't fed on me, not even once.

„You're not fine. You're tired all the time and you sweat like hell at night," he argues forcefully, clenching down on my shoulders once more. I wince, but I don't look up at him.

It's been like this for a month and I've got to go to chemotherapy now. Dael's spending all of his time with me. It's suffocating. Because I know he knows that I know and he knows that I know and so on.

„But I'm getting treatment, so I'll be fine," I tell him, forcing a smile onto my lips. It's my last hope that he'll just buy it so we won't get into that awful argument again. Even though it's hard, I turn my face towards his to look into his eyes. The pain I find there startles me.

„I'm not going to let you die," he says firmly, staring straight at me even though tears well up in his eyes. The first escapes and travels down his right cheek. He bites down on his lower lip. The corners of it are twitching dangerously.

„I'm human. And I want to stay human," I try half-heartedly because even though it's terribly hard to deny him what he wants most, to spend the eternity of his life with me, I can't let him turn me. It's not that I dislike vampires, but I don't want to become one myself.

„But you're not going to stay human!" he snaps angrily and sits up with a start. He brushes his hair back from his face. His fingers are shaking. „If you're dead, you're dead. Then you're neither human nor anything else. You're dead. That's what death is about. Your human life is going to end one way or another."

„Then that's the way it's supposed to be." I sigh heavily, glancing aside once more. I can't look at him. Just can't look at him because it worsens the burning sensation inside my eyes that sends tears streaming down my face. I hide beneath an arm, though my trembling shoulders make it obvious that I am still crying.

„Why?" he pleads softly, carefully pulling my arm away from my face. I resist, but it's not like I'm a match for his strength. The question tears at my heart. „Why do you want to leave me?"

„I don't want to! I don't want to die, Dael!" I shout, losing it for a second as I prop myself up on my elbows and glare at him. It's unfair of him to put it that way.

He lowers his head, slowly extending a hand towards me. He slips it to the back of my neck, then falls forwards, pulling me against his chest while he rests his weight on his other hand, next to my shoulders. I wrap my arms around his waist, holding him close as well.

„I know it's going to hurt. But I'll be there with you," he whispers and I tense instantly, my eyes widening in shock. He wouldn't dare to do it. Not after I've clearly told him not to. But that's Dael. That's the super egoistic vampire that I've fallen in love with. „It's okay. I promise that I won't leave your side."

„Dael, don't do this," I reply shakily, my fingers digging into his back. Carefully, he strokes my head.

„You're life's going to end anyway. I'm not going to let you disappear just because of that."

„Don't, Dael. I'm telling you not to do this. Weren't you the one who was angry at your wife because she turned your children?" I ask while having to fight down sobs – and the desire to start thrashing and screaming. Doing so wouldn't change a thing.

„I can live without them. I can't live without you," he says firmly, then plants a soft kiss on my head.

„Dael, please. It's my life. And if it's supposed to end, that's it."

„It's not your life – and it's not supposed to end," he states, his voice dark. Slowly, he moves away from me, looking down at me with empty eyes. My breath hitches as cold dread takes hold of my heart. Shivering, I push myself backwards, away from him, until my back hits the wall behind our bed. He's not moving.

„Dael?"

I'm afraid. Afraid of him. Afraid of that cold determination that's settled onto his features. I know - that I'm his world and that there's no reason for him to keep living if I'm gone.

I have known from the beginning that this would happen, but I still scream in panic as he jumps at me, pinning me to the wall with one forearm across my shoulder and neck while his other hand pulls my right shoulder down, exposing my vital arteries. I kick with all my might, but that's not going to change anything. It's the first time in a year that his fangs sink into my flesh.

Somehow, that thought makes my heart clench in pain. Of course, he was never going to bite me again after I got sick, but at least I was still human. His deliciously smelling human. If I become a vampire, there's no going back to that. He's never going to bite me again. That loss hits me hard.

I don't want to lose him.

„Please, stop. Dael, stop. Stop," I whine repeatedly, but he neither answers nor moves. It's a strange feeling. Instantly, I know that something's different. He's not sucking. Instead, it's like he's pushing something into me. The pressure beneath my skin increases until it's so painful I feel like I'm going to burst. „It hurts. Dael, it hurts. Stop it, please."

Suddenly, he pulls back and I gasp in relief. He edges away from me, eyeing me warily, and I manage a tired smile. I want to thank him, thank him for stopping, thank him for considering what I want, but no sound manages to pass my lips. My chest isn't moving. I can't push air past my throat. I clutch at my chest, gaping like a fish on dry land. Pleadingly, I look up at him, my eyes begging for help, but he doesn't move. His expression doesn't change.

I fall onto the bed face first, shaking violently. Somehow, I manage to get tiny bits of air into my burning lungs. The painful heat spreads throughout my whole body until I can't even feel the silken sheets beneath me anymore. I wouldn't even notice the tears if they weren't making their way into my mouth, tasting salty and sad.

There's a maddening cracking sound as my jaw breaks.

I scream, clawing at my face as if something was stuck there, something that is tearing me apart from the inside. Dael grabs my wrists and pins me down. I can't even see him properly because the pain is blurring my vision. I want to faint.

I desperately want to faint as it cracks over and over again. Something pushes against my bones from the inside, and it's growing. I can taste my own blood in my mouth as my teeth get pushed out of their sockets, even though they're still firmly rooted.

Make it stop. Please, make it stop.

But even though I repeat that countless times, it's not stopping. Not after my fangs have protruded, nor after the rest of my teeth have grown back. It doesn't stop after my eyes have disintegrated, nor after the new ones have taken their place.

It just doesn't stop; because there's no end to it. My bones have broken so many times already, the constant cracking doesn't even bother me anymore. I just lie in his arms, completely motionless and tired. He pours warm liquid into my mouth and I swallow it hungrily.

It's the only good thing about this. It's everything. Until it's all I can think about, then it's even more than that.

I guess it's like a drug.


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