Disproportion || BTS

16. Chapter

A|N: You gave me the motivation to continue writing <3. Guys if it weren't for her I would have put this book on pause x'C

I had trouble believing I'd move in with BTS next week. If my parents allowed it of course. They had merely met the guys and didn't really know anything about them as I never lost a word about friends. Not anymore at least.

I think they were surprised I even found new ones. After the incident with my last best friend I had completely isolated myself. They'd tried talking to me about it but eventually they gave up.

Months had passed and I still wasn't over it. But I could feel things were getting better. The boys brought some colour into my life again. Liz wouldn't have wanted me to remain sad forever or to break on this loss either.

My thoughts got interrupted when my dad yelled from the kitchen, "Can you please lay the table!" "Yeah."

- - - - -

"How has your day been, sweetie?"

"Good, I got an A in today's literature lesson repetition."

"Oh honey, do you remember the name of the nice young man?"

"Not exactly. It was Mr. Kim, right?"

"There are three Kim's. It's Namjoon."

"He's your teacher Dea! It's very impolite of you to call him by his first name!"

"Yeah, but he's the teacher I went on vacation with, have lunch with and play games with. So most of all he is a friend and in case you forgot J-Hope also teaches."

"Ok, we got it! If you want us to get involved in your life again maybe start talking more with us?"

"Yes, I'm sorry mom and dad. I've been misbehave all this time and I hate myself for it. Also you won't like what I will say next so you should know I feel guilty..."

"Don't say something like that, Dea! Me and your mom love you and we are aware you're having a hard time at the moment. We honestly want to help you so please tell us."

"Yeah well... so me and the guys played spin the bottle. As lucky as I am I ended up getting the duty to do their laundry for a week. Since I already spend a lot if time at their house they suggested I could stay with them."

As expected they weren't amused. "You want to move in with BTS?", my mom asked confused. I shyly nodded. "We would have to talk to them about it. I feel like we already owe them for taking you on vacation and feeding you", my dad meant rationally. I hummed.

My mom then asked what Mr. Kim thought about it. I think she likes him the most because she keeps bringing Jonnie up. "He's okay with it or better he didn't say otherwise and the two of us were planning a sleepover even before that", I replied.

Earned me some strict and confused glances.

"He's still your teacher."

"Heck I know. Why do you repeat it so often? Being close with Hobi is okay but not with him? Jimin, V and Jungkook are also pupils and they share a dorm with their hyungs", I snapped.

"You like him!", my mom accused me. The duck?! "Of course I do as well as the others..."

My dad interrupted me, "You know that isn't what your mother meant. Teacher x student relationships are against the law and we don't want you both to get into trouble. Besides that, and we have discussed this before, four years away from your age makes a huge gap."

Suddenly feeling sick I put my chopsticks down.

"Listen, I love you. Yes, I agreed with you on that when I was 14 but opinions change. We really get along well. No, this is not me admitting I like him! I just want to point a few things out. All my life I've been dependent on you. It always was one of my highest goals to please you. I'd feel scared when I got into my teen years that you wouldn't like my new fashion style. Your opinion influenced me incredibly strong. And when you told me you were proud of the mature, logical way I saw things it made me happy. The thing is, I've changed. I feel so very bad for it. Without reason maybe but I'm scared you won't accept who I've become. My opinion is now sometimes different than yours. Mom, dad I don't want to apologize for the way I feel but I sincerely feel bad about it."

They were speechless and so was I for a moment. Then I picked up my bowl and chopsticks and put them into the dishwasher. Fine.

I could hear my parents whisper in the background and then my dad came up to me. He rested his hand on my shoulder and told me to sit with them later. My mom joined and nodded while we started cleaning up the kitchen.

- - - - -

I honestly hadn't known they felt this way. I could slap myself across for my blindness for their situation. My parents also had a hard time - dealing with me. Too self focused, too self obsessed, rude... not somebody you would ever like to meet.

I stripped off my clothes and put them into the laundry. In comparison to my friends I was a totally spoiled kid, a little naive spoiled kid. I hit my head against the marbles, freezing water running down my body and piercing my skin.

Oh, and also always drowning in self pity! Such a disgusting personality. Sometimes I wondered why people sticked around me at all. Not that I wasn't grateful - being alone sucked - but I didn't want to drag them down. Yet I did, didn't I? Unnecessary to mention that I also made them laugh but that wasn't anything that lasted... the bitter taste of my true whiny character did.

Thinking about it and doing it again...

I grabbed my treaclemoon™ 'one ginger morning' and started to soap my body harshly. Of course it still burned when I washed my feet but the pain was more than welcome to me. I smiled and quickly wrapped myself in a big towel. Big towel - luxury - but normality for me. After soothing my skin with some body lotion I got into babyblue velvet shorts, an oversized tee and of course some fluffy socks.

I sighed. There really was no sense in beating myself up that much.

Downstairs I looked for my parents and found them in front of the TV. Both of them smiled at me softly when I entered the living room.

"We're really happy we talked this out. You can always approach us if you need to get something off your heart."

"Yes, I know. It was stupid of me to think that you wouldn't accept me. I have got wonderful parents and all together we lead a good life I shouldn't be complaining. I'm sorry that II have said some bad stuff in the past about you."

"It's okay. We know you didn't mean it just don't do it again. Wanna watch a movie together?"

I nodded and they allowed me to choose a movie so we ended up re-watching 'The Princess and the Frog'.