Can I stay? (Gerard Way x Reader)

Please Understand (36)

A/N - Hey, I know this story has not been as good lately and I haven't been updating this much as I have had exams but that is all over now. I plan on keeping my focus here now and improving this story because it makes me happy writing this. I love you all and I hope you keep reading, commenting and sharing the love. Thank you everyone Xx

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Frank suggests we should go back to the tour bus and as everyone I agrees I guess it is settled. I tell them that they can go ahead and I will catch up after I have gone to the bathroom. I enter the small door still feeling a little sick but safe, I feel safer. I rinse my face with cold water and listen to footsteps getting quieter as the guys walk further away. I look at my reflection in the mirror and I am almost glad by what I see. No obvious new marks, cuts or bruises. The only thing obvious is that I look very pale almost like Gerard's white face paint. I chuckle at myself and it feels nice to have my lips curl into a smile again. 

I push open the door and to my surprise Gerard is standing there looking kind of awkward. All the other guys have left so it is only me and him but I know he is kind and wouldn't do anything to make me uncomfortable. He looks at me and he seems exhausted. Large bags sit under his eyes but he still looks at me and smiles as large as he can. I blush because I could never ask for a better relationship.

"Hey, I um wanted to talk to you about what happened. You know , make sure you are okay" he says blushing a little and I almost smirk from the cringyness of this statement. What did I do to deserve this level of hapiness and caring.

"I am so sorry I can explain what that is all about"Y

"Don't worry, take your time , I just wanted to explain that I knew something was wrong before the concert. Like a few days before the concert. I wanted to apologise for not doing anything to help, or telling anyone. I feel really guilty" G

"Honestly, there is no need to feel that way. I should have talked to you" Y

We sit back down on the sofa and he gives me another small hug before shifting so that he is looking straight at me. I feel my eyes drop and try to look elsewhere but he reaches for my hand and I look back up. I take a deep breath in. Here goes.

"So I.. uh. I have been trying to hide how I feel about my parents. I wanted it to seem like I was fine because I love you guys so much and I didn't want you to think I was weak. Also the news of my parents death hurt me so bad. Like it really fucking hurt and I couldn't express it so I just tried to hide". At this point tears are rolling down my face and Gee pulls me closer to him so my head can rest on my shoulders.

"I couldn't sleep because I was consantly thinking about them. About how I could have saved them, or done something. I was being extra nice to peop,e at the meet and greets because maybe I could help someone... I couldn't help my parents so I wanted to feel like I had done something. Because I was being so nice I was just really tired all the time but I was getting no sleep from the horrible thoughts I kept getting about my parents. Plus all the nightmares from the kidnapping keep coming back. I went onstage and I guess my body just couldn't cope anymore". Then I collapse into him and cry as hard as I can. All my fears, worries and lack of sleep just pouring out of me. 

I wish I could stay like this forever... but nothing lasts that long