Can I stay? (Gerard Way x Reader)

Intoxicated (74)

It's horrendus. I would never wear this in a million years. I pick up the various pieces of cloth and I feel like I'm going to be sick. First of all there is no proper clothes, it's a rack full or underwear, bras, and crop tops. That's awful on it's own, because all my scars will be shown and I have no self-confidence. I don't think I can do this anymore. Ever worse though is that they are fluffy and pastel pink. I am going to look like a hentai princess or something. Jeesus christ.

I start to stress a little but then I think.. No fuck it. I'm not doing that. I am a strong individual who can do as she pleases and I will not be seen in photos wearing that skimpy piece of shit. I look down at my current clothing. Think dammit. 

I take my leggins off and grab a pair os scissors from the desk. First of all I cut them into shorts and then I cut some slits in the side. That looks okay right? I take off my hoodie and look down at my black bra. I need something but .. what. I look around in the room and in the drawers to see if I can find anything. I look through every single cupboard and all I come across is a pair of ripped black tights which were in the bottom of a wardrobe and a large fishnet fabric.I put the tights on under my shorts so I'm a little more covered and I cut three holes in the fabric. I drape the fishnet over my bra and even though I still look quite naked it's better than before. I look in the mirror, yup this is way better. I apply some brown, tan eyeshadow and a red lip. I head outside to meet the guys and when I get there what I see is so funny I have to bite my toungue to not laugh.

All of the guys are wearing the same clothes as before they went to get changed just in a slightly different ways and they all have fresh makeup on so they look more fresh. I say all but Mikey and Ray clearly didn't get the message. Gerard and Frank look similar to me and they are absolutely pissing themselves laughing. Ray has kept his black skinny jeans on but has changed into a pastel pink polo shirt, and Mikey.. Mikey has gone all out. He has pink shorts and knee high pastel pink socks, his shirt is also a salmony colour and he looks like he is on the set of a bad anime. 

They go off to get changed again, after the photographer says that tomorrow they have a girl band coming in and the clothes must have been swapped. 

--------------------------------time skip because of Helena---------------------------------

The photoshoot is over and it was a lot of funIt is stressful trying to come up with different looks and poses but we worked it out and we have some awesome shots to use. After the shoot we have all been invited to some after party VIP thing. I don't like the social scenarios much especially after what happened at the last one but whatever I guess I have to. Ray promised to stay around me as he isn't too glad to be here either. We sit in the corner and chat while he drinks a beer and while frank and Gerard do some shots. Mikey just went back to the apartament because he wanted to watch some movie or something. The night goes on and by this point both Frank and gerard are drunk and wobbling all over the place. I mean it doesn't surprise me but it's just kind of annoying. Gerard is going pale and it's making me worried so I decide to go and say something to him.

"Gee, hey. I'm glad you're having a good time but should you really drink more. Frank has stopped and I'm just getting worried." I say to him trying to connect with his drunk self. 

"I'm fine Y/N just go away" he says a little irritated. I sigh and sit back down with Ray. There are a lot of people in this VIP party and most of them I've never even heard of. Hours pass and Gerard is still drinking and at one point he goes to lift his hand up for a shot but because he's so drunk his hand missed and he drowns himeslf in alcohol. He is absolutely gone and the worst thing is he isn't stopping. Frank has wandered off and Ray isn't really paying attention to them only chatting with me. I stand up and go over to Gerard. He can't drink anything else, it'll kill him or something.

I stand up and snatch the shot from his hand .

"Gee stop drinking, seriously you're already super drunk just stop" I say loud over the music.

"Y/N I told you to leave me alone I can make my own fucking decisions" he shouts unusually loud and he pushes me. 

"Gee stop. Right now seriously" I shout back getting annoyed.

"You know what Y/N I am so sick of this shit" G

"What shit" Y

"You act like you fucking know everything and you act like you're so fucking broken. I'm sick of your family problems and bully problems and just all your fucking problems. You ARE a fucking problem and I am sick of it. You're not even that pretty. In fact you're useless, you're ugly and i don't even know why you are still here" he screams getting louder towars the end.

Tears form in my eyes and my whole body goes shaky. At this point everyone is looking and the music has stopped. It's horrible. I try to tell myself that all of that was the alcohol but it isn't working. Instead of upset I am angry. I am so fusking angry. 

"Gerard seriously" I yell back at him. My voice cracks and my face is now a river streaming and desperate.

"Yes Y/N seriously. So seriously. You need proof? watch this" he yells loud enough for everyone to hear. He pulls over one of the half dressed girls in the bar and rubs up close to her. I want to vomit. He looks over at me and gives me a glare. How can he fucking do this. Ray is standing in shock at the side and Frank is nowhere to be seen. I can feel my heart beating and then he just does it.

He slips his hands into her hair and kisses her. It's not even a small kiss it's a long french style snog and with every passing second I can feel my heart breaking. Then when I finally think it's over they stop for air but she pulls him in again and I even hear her moan. I can't stand here anymore. I grab my jacket and run out of that hell hole a fast as my legs can carry me. I run for what feels like hours until my brain hurts and my legs feel as though they will rip off my body.

What an absolute asshole. I have cried out a million tears and screamed into a feild of trees. I climb one of them and just sit on the branches. Fuck