Can I stay? (Gerard Way x Reader)

(85)

I'm so shocked by what I see that I stand frozen on the spot. He looks pale and clammy and washed out in the massive blue and white checked hostpital gown. He's laying lifeless on the bed and the only thing convincing me that he's alive is the heart beat monitor beeping along in the background.

His hair is damp and sticking slightly to his forehead and the back of his hair has been shaved off leaving a massive red scar with stitches in. His ankle is raised up in a cast and I just bring my hand up to my mouth. I could be sick but I'm determined to hold it i. 

This is my fault, I did this to him. Mikey goes straight over to his side and takes Gerard's hand in his and Frank sits beside him examining his head. I sit in the corner for what feels like hours and I can barely look at him without feeling overly guilty or messed up inside. 

After what feels like hours when the sun is setting and darkness has arised outside something insane happens. Mikey is sleeping and Frank has gone to get coffee so I'm the only one who sees it but Gee moves.

He's waking up. My heart thuds with hope and I rush over to his side.  He stirs and shuffles in his bed waking up with panicked heavy breathing and he tries to stand up but can't because of all the wires and tubes. I take his hand and squeeze it.

"I'm here, It's okay I'm here " I chant gently and kiss his hand. He looks at me with such pain and I know he wants to hug me but he just can't get there. 

"I'm so sorry" I whisper crying in shock that he's here and I can try to make things better. He squeezes my hand back and talks.

"Y/N look at me" he says a little rougher than I imagined. I jump startled and to my surprise I can't meet his eyes. 

"Y/N please just look at me" he says again but softer this time rubbing circles in my palm with his thumb. 

"I can't" I whisper because my voice won't go more than that.

"Why?" G

"Because everytime I look at you I see what I did to you" I sigh tears spilling and he just suqeezes my hand again.

"You did nothing Y/N. This was not your fault and please don't blame yourself for this" he whisperes lifting my chin up.

"God I wish I could kiss you right now" he laughs a little and I manage to put on a little smile. 

"I should probably wake Mikey up, he's so worried" I smile standing up and moving my hand away from his. He sighs and then laughs but ends up clutching his side because it hurts too much. I wince, just the thought of him hurting makes me sad.

I walk over to where Mikey is asleep on the padded chair and lightly tap his shoulder. He wakes up slowly with bleary red eyes and a slight groan but as soon as he sees Gee sitting up and awake he jumps up and rushes over trying to give Gee a hug. 

"I was so worried, like so worried, fuck dude, don't do that again" he says over and over trying not to cry.

"It's okay Mikey, I'm here it will all be okay" Gee smiles and pats his arm. This is going to take a while.

---------------------------massive time skip (like 3 weeks) -------------------------------

It's been a tough 3 weeks of crying and recovery and trying (but failing) to record music but now things are starting to get better. Gerard has been officially cleared from hospital but he can't perform live yet because it might make things worse again. We had to cancel some shows but we re-scheduled them for a later date so it's fine. 

We are also back on the road again doing press interviews and some meet and greets so I'm back on my favourite place, the bus. Kristin had to leave us but promised to keep in touch - especially with Mikey. 

I wake up early and as I sit up I smack my head on the top of the bunk. Shit. I used to do that a lot but I guess I forgot how much it can sting. I climb out and go on the search for coffee but to my surprise Gee is stitting on the couch tears staining his cheeks. I go over to him and hug him from behind like a baby koala probably would. 

"Gee what's up?" I ask gently trying to get him to look at me. I gently turn his face and he sighs trying to meet my eyes. We sit there for a moment silent but comfortable. 

"This scar, I hate it. Everyone can see it and it makes me look so pathetic" he mumbles.

"That's not true it makes you look badass if anything" I smile running my hands gently through the front of his hair. He tuts and then frowns again. I can tell he's upset but I have an idea

"Do you trust me?" I ask tilting my head to the side like those puppies do on TV. His face lightens up a bit.

"Of course, why?" he smiles reaching for my hand.

"Nothing.. just nothing. Okay well, I need to go out and get some supplies, food and stuff like that. You need anything?" I smile standing up and hovering by the door. Ray comes along and says that he wants to come with me because he also needs stuff. Perfect.

I seem a little all over the place but I can't stop smiling because today, I have the perfect idea. I start walking down the road with Ray but when we get far enough from the bus I turn around and talk to him.

"Ray, hear me out, I have an idea..."

-------------------

I return back to the bus with a bag full of everything I need plus some other more normal stuff like pasta, oven bake pizzas, lettuce, like and bread. Gee is sitting on the sofa mindlessly scrolling through his phone when I get in.

"Hey!" I say overly loud to wake him up. He bolts up and shoots me a glance which makes me laugh. 

"Why so enthusiastic?" he smiles standing up. 

"Time for a surprise" I grin back.

I take a bucket and fill it with water and set up a chair outside the bus in the sun. I also grab a blindfold because I don't want Gee to see until after. 

Let's commence..