Can I stay? (Gerard Way x Reader)

I didn't mean to.. (62)

I wake up bleary eyed and upset and confused. I feel a squeeze on my hand and dart my head to the side where Mikey is smiling at me. I am so glad he's here. I use the little remote thing to lift up the bed so I can sit and talk to him. I look around worried Ray, Frank or Gerard will be here but I don't see anyone. 

"I texted them to give you a little space, don't worry it's just us. Now what the heck was last night all about and why are you in a hospital bed." Mikey says sounding gentle but still a little confused.

"Frank kissed me" I say sighing lookin away because I am too scared to see his reaction. It's not exactly a normal situation sitting there telling one of your best friends that you cheated on his brother with another one of your best friends who is also his best friend. Mikey squeezes my hand again and I turn back to look at him. I need him to be a friend right now but he has every right to be annoyed at me and ignore what else I have to say. I can feel my face scrunching up and I try to breathe deep breaths to keep calm. 

"Hey what's wrong. Did you think I would hate you for that? Jeesus christ Y/N I love my brother but I'm still one of your good friends aren't I?" he looks up at me furrowing his brows. He looks dissapointed but not mad, this is my chance to explain.

"Look, I didn't know what to do. He kissed me and I didn't hate it, in fact I kind of liked it but I can't just leave Gerard. I mean I love him, but I don't know if it's that kind of love. I really don't want anyone to get hurt and I just feel so terrible right now.. I. I .. I don't know what to do" I leave my scentence trailing off because I have no words. My heart is clenched up in my chest and I know it sounds terrible but I just don't want to have to deal with this anymore. I fucking need Gerard because he would know what to say, he would keep me alive, and he knows what I'm like. But Frank is new and more rough and maybe I need something like that right now. 

Mikey doesn't react shocked or angry and in fact he kind of laughs a bit. "But wait that doesn't explain why you are in a hospital bed right now" he says tilting his head to the side. Then his whole face drops as he looks me up and down "Oh god, you didn't do something stupid did you? Y/N You're worth more than that" he says with genuine concern. I swear Mikey and Ray are the best friends anyone could have asked for like ever. 

"I didn't know what to do. Ray was in a trance, I was being pulled around and kissed by everyone in that hotel room and I didn't want to say something offensive. I ran away and I know I had nowhere to go but I knew I could trust you. I came to see if I could just stay near you but the nurse wouldn't let me in. A few tugs on the stitches in my neck, quite a bit of blood loss, bandages, medication and now I am here" I say as if it were some mundane story they tell on the news. Like a story they tell you but don't expect you to be interested in. 

I lay back and close my eyes awaiting what comes next. Well, what does come next we need to record music maybe go on another tour. But then what? I have nowhere to go. I don't have anyone besides these guys and if they tur out to hate me. . I'm alone.

I feel someone tap my shoulder so I open my eyes expecting it to be Mikey but suddenly everyone is here. Gerard looks like he has been crying, Frank looks miserable too, Ray looks tired but satisfied and I can't even imagine what look has formed on my face right now.

"Y/N I,m so fucking sorry" Frank says looking up at me.

"I- we- we didn't want to hurt you honestly and it got pretty bad in there " G

"When you left everyone was pretty mad, confused, just all the emotions. But Mikey texted me to say you were safe so we ate the pizza and I talked to these two and we've come to a decision" R

"Y/N I like you a lot, you saved my life and I really want to be there to save yours whenever you need me regardless of whether I am your boyfriend or not. and I promise that, I will always be here if you ever feel alone. Because I know how hard it gets" G

"I'm sorry for springing my feelings on you so suddenly and for being a dickhead at times. I just wanted to let my big secret out and I do, I do really like you but if Gerard is the one you want to stay with then It's fine and I will support that. I just want you to be happy" F

"So Y/N please, I don't want this to be some big decision you have to make and feel stressed about because you don't deserve that with all the shit you went through. Just how do you honestly feel" R

"Whatever you say we all support you and care for you." M

"I, ugh, jeez guys you make me feel so special and like I'm actually wanted here. Thank you all for that. Gerard I love you, you make me feel safe, you help me be here and I want to help you be here too. I feel so safe when I'm with you and that nothing bad could ever happen. I never, ever want to loose you. But that love isn't the way you think and I'm so sorry. I could kiss you a million times and it would be great but the spark has dwindled and I just don't feel that same way as I did before. Frank, you're new in a way and exciting and you know.. attractive. I have that spark with you and I kind of feel bad for it but I also kind of love it because it's different. I.. Canw e try and .. I don't know.." Y

"Yes, we can try" F

"I am so sorry Gee"

"It's fine Y/N, I, i don't know maybe in the future our time will come again but I am still here for you okay?" G

"Totally okay, perfect."

"So is it okay guys" Frank asks looking around at everyone in turn. They all nod their heads .. what the hell.

"What do you mean is it okay?" Y

Frank's lip curls up into a smile and he walks over to the side of my bed. "This" he says leaning into me. I can feel his warmth around me and it's thrilling, it's kind of like I'm on fire. His hands cup the sides of my face and send pulses all the way through my body. Then he kisses me, and my world just about dissapears. All I can focus on is him connected to me and it feels so amazing I don't know how to describe it. It may sound gross to people but I can feel his mouth open a little and I get so giddy I feel like a child, but only n mind of course because there's no way I'm breaking this apart right now.

Dam Frank is a good kisser