Can I stay? (Gerard Way x Reader)

Alone (75)

Sitting on the tree it's lonely and sad. Also cold. It's so freaking cold. I pull my jacket tighter around me but the wind is quite strong and there is no way I can stay here all night. I fumble around in my bag and grab my wallet. I take a deep breathe how broke am I right now?

To my relief I have 50 dollars so i can at least buy some water or food. I wander around looking for open stores because it is quite late and I find one small gas station is still open. I buy myself a blanket, some water and a burrito because I'm hungry dammit. Right I have 20 dollars left, what else can I do. I wander around even more looking for somewhere I could sit but so far there's no luck. Then a faint hum of guitar strings and the buzz of candle light catches my eye. 

I look up at the sign. A hostel. It looks perfect but I can only hope I have enough money.  I wander in clutching my bag and blanket in my hands (my water and burrito in my bag). There are a group of mixed people around the age of 20-25 chilling in the lounge and playing music quietly. I smile at them as I pass and they smile back. One girl in particular gives me a little wave, she looks really friendly. I walk up to the desk and start talking to the young man receptionist.

"Hi, um.. how much for a room for one" I asked nervously. I am also very tired and desperate so I'm sure I look like a mess.

"For how long" he asks whilst checking the computer for something.

"I.. I don't know. One night I guess" I whisper fiddling with my hands. He looks up at me with empathy. 

"For one night it's 25 dollars but if you stay for a little longer like a week it's cheaper. It's 100 for 7 days" . Shit. I glance downat the crunched up notes in my hand. 

"Oh, um okay I don't have enough then. Thank you for the help" I mumble and walk away burying my head. As I walk past, the guitar music stops and the girl who waved at me stands up and walks straight to the counter.

"I'll pay for her, at least for tonight" she says to the man and he smiles. Why would she do something this nice for me. I can feel myself blushing and as I walk back over to thank her she just tells me to go and get some sleep.

I head upstairs and into the main room choosing the bunk on the bottom in the corner. It's amazingly cosy and there are several people sleeping already. I place my stuff in the little box next to the bed and collapse on the matress. It's not completely dark because of the little lanterns next to every bunk. I close the curtain and  lay on my back. Breathe

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I wake up the next morning my head pounding but at least I am warm and dry. Outside everything is frosty and I don't think I would have made it through that. I sat up and opened the curtain to reveal a really laid back room. People were casually picking up their stuff or getting changed and they all seem really nice. I climb off the bed and head to the shared bathroom but as I have just realised I don't have any other clothes. I look down at my homemade shorts and ripped tights and just sigh because it's far too cold to  go outside like this. Not that I have anywhere to go anyway, but I need cash and the only place I have cash is back at the apartment. 

I walk up to a sink and wash my face with some cold water but then that girl walks in. The one who paid for me to be there. She looks really pretty now I can get a good look in the light. Her long light brown hair and big smile showing pearly white teeth. She walks over to me and smiles.

"Hey, we never got to talk yesterday" she says "I'm Kristin, Kristin Colby" K

"Hiya I'm Y/N, thanks for last night I will find a way to pay you back" Y

"Oh don't worry about it I knew you would turn up at some point" K

"What do you mean?" Y

"Well, I'm good friends with Mikey Way. Apparently one of his friends has done something bad and he knew you'd end up wandring in here. He seems to think you're pretty smart but he came over last night to drop off some of your clothes" she smiles. 

I look at the bag in my hand and sure enough there are a few pairs of jeans and a couple of sweaters that I can change into. I can't believe Mikey would think to do that and how come he hasn't mentioned Kristen before. Probably because he has a crush on her I laugh to myself.

"Thank you" I smile at her.

"Sure, He also said that he thinks you should go back and try to sort it out. He said one of the guys wants to come and see you in a few hours" she smiles and then walks off to have a shower. Crap. The thought of facing Gerard right now is so scary. I get that he was drunk but don't drunk people just say what they are thinking when they are sober. Am I really just a problem, if so why am I here? Why am I anywhere?

I shrug the thought off and have a shower.

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I'm changed now and I have reapplied the eyeliner and mascara that was in my bag. I look a lot better after I have had a sleep so I head down into the lobby and grab myself a plate of breakfeast. A few moments later I hear someone say my name. I look up and see Frank in the doorway.

I run up to him and give him a hug. He hugs me back and I bury my head into his shoulder. I thought he might be mad but he is being really nice. As soon as I see him I just break down and cry because he reminds me of how horrible last night was. He pulls me off and I just mouth the words thank you. He smiles sadly and we walk back over to where I was sitting with my plate of breakfeast.

Frank looks a little hungover but mostly sad, god knows what the fuck happened after I left last night. He looks at me and he looks glad that I'm okay. He pulls up the sleeve of my jumper and breathes a sigh of relief when he realises there are no new scars. I was too tired to really think about anything else last night and I guess that's a good thing because at least I didn't self destruct.

"Are you okay" Frank asks trying to make eye contacct. I can't do the eye contact it's too much.

"I'm fine" I mumble eating another bite of toast. This breakfeast tastes really good and that's what I am forcing my brain to focus on right now. Not the problems. Just the food. 

"Look, what happened yesterday was shit. Competely and totally shit and I can't believe he did that. He was such a mess last night and after you left it only got worse. We got kicked out of the party and when we went back to the apartment he was like a madman. Unfortunately that's what happend when he over drinks. He's better nowdays than what he used to be but there are still days when he flies off the handle" Frank sighs.

"I was just shocked because I was trying to help" I sigh eating my bacon. 

"I know and there's nothing else you could've done. When we got back to the apartment he lost it. He was sick everywhere  and he was loud and violent. He punched Mikey when he tried to defend you, Mikey was being really nice and trying to protect you and he got really mad at Gerard.. We didn't know what to do. He will get over this I'm sure he will but the only way to fix it is to meet up and sort shit out"

The thought of that alone makes my blood run cold. My arms go heavy and my breathing goes shallow. "Frank" I mumble "I don't know if I can".

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Before I know it I'm back at the front door of the apartment and just as Frank opens the door Ray comes right out and gives me a massive hug. I hug back weakly and then just stare because I see him. He is trying to dissapear into the corner and to be honest I want to do the same thing but I can't. Not this time. I need to fix the problems. I am not the problem.