Chapter 4

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"Mom!" I sit up in my bed panting. I look down at myself to make sure I'm not really covered in her blood. I flop back onto my back. When will these nightmares end? I can't take much more of this. Seeing her dead body...

I couldn't fall back asleep so I headed for the shower. My head is pounding and try as I might I can't really remember what happened last night. I give up on falling back asleep and get up and move to the bathroom. I quickly throw my hair into a pony tail and head out of the bathroom. I nearly jump out of my skin when I see Theo sitting on my bed.

"Oh good you're ready." I put my hand over my heart. Who does that? Wait, what?

"Ready for what?"

"We're going out, remember?" Oh yeah...
* * * *

After hours of shopping for clothes and food we sit at T.G.I Friday's for lunch. I'm a little curious why we're here. He is a vampire after all.

"So..."

"I can eat food, I just can't really taste it." He says like he can read my mind. So he can eat food and he can obviously go out in the sunlight but it seems to make him uncomfortable. 

"Do you turn into a bat?" He gives me an are you serious look. "So...no bats. You don't sleep in a coffin..." He tries to hide a smile.

"I don't sleep at all really. Maybe a few hours but I don't need it like you do." Interesting. I've never noticed if he's cold or not. He's carried me a few times but I still don't know.

Eating lunch is pretty awkward. He doesn't say much and I have no idea what to say. I was never any good at carrying a conversation. Obviously that hasn't improved any. I couldn't help but notice the way all the women kept eyeing him, and staring daggers at me. Were they jealous because I'm here with him? We aren't even dating. I look back at him studying his face. He really is handsome though. The way his soft black hair covered his eyes. It makes me want to brush it out of his face. I gotta give it to him; he has great taste in music. Today he wears an Escape the Fate T-shirt and the usual black skinny jeans. All black made his pale flawless skin stick out but not in a bad way. It actually made him look really good.

"What?" He asks. I look away quickly trying not to blush. Really Arabella? He has a girlfriend. A really pretty one even if annoying. And let's not forget he's a vampire. I know he's not the one who killed my parents but I can't seem to separate them. His kind killed them.

"Nothing." I mumble. When we both finish eating we head back to his house. It begins to pour halfway back and I lean my head against the cool window. I can't stop my mind from wondering to my parents. This gloomy weather isn't helping. Once we're back he walks around and opens the car door for me. It's pouring harder now and he's already soaked. I slowly get out and he closes the door. I feel a strong urge just to stand in the rain. It reminds me of them. Reminds me of what I feel inside.

"Do you mind if I stay out here for a little while?" He gives me a funny look but nods.

"I'll be close by!" He has to shout so I can hear him over the thunder.

I walk towards the forest that surrounds the huge building. I'm already numb from the cold rain that continues to fall. I embrace the numbness wishing it could drown my thoughts. 'Did you know that the rain is all the tears that everyone's cried' my moms words echo in my head. I quickly duck behind a tree falling to my knees. I don't know how long I stayed there letting the rain wash away my tears, but Theo came and picked me up. I tried to push him away. Why can't he just leave me here? It seems that whenever I just want to let go he's there pulling me back.

He wins and carries me inside. He sets me down at the kitchen table and wraps a towel around my shoulders. After a few minutes he sets hot chocolate in front of me. I didn't want it. All I could see was my mothers dead body. I never saw my father but I knew he was there. Theo sits down next to me but I hardly notice.

"I'm sorry about your parents..."

"Do you kill them?" I whisper. I hold my breath waiting for his answer.

"No."

"Why would he do that?"

"He was a rogue vampire. There's a lot more of them than I'd like...everyone here doesn't kill, that's why there are so many humans here. I admit there are accidents sometimes but I hunt vampires like him. It's against our laws to kill humans." I close my eyes. Why did it have to be my parents? The only family I had left. Gone. I didn't even get to tell them I loved them. I shouldn't have gone out that night. I should've stayed home. Then I would be with them right now...

Where do my friends think I am? Do they remember me or have they already forgotten? We weren't very close...I wasn't really close to anyone. That was the first night I'd gone out in a long time and look where it got me. My parents are dead and I'm alive.

"I'm gonna turn in for the night." I mumble and head for my room. After I close the door behind me I walk into the bathroom. I need a nice hot bath. I turn on the water and fill the tub with bubbles. When it's finished I peel off my wet clothes and step in.

I wish I was back home with my parents. We'd all be sitting at the table for dinner right now. I hated it back then. If I only knew how much I'd miss it. I smile bitterly. I just want to die. I'll never hear my parents voices again, never be able to hug them or tell them I love them. I don't want to be here, but I don't even have anywhere else to go. I slump down up to my chin in water. I could always kill myself right now. The doors locked. There's nothing Theo can do to stop me. He would never know till the next morning. For all I know he's left again.

I slowly dunk my head under and breath in. I automatically lift my head out of the water as I cough uncontrollably. Come on Arabella, you have to do this. I try again but the urge to lift out of the water is too strong. There's no way I can keep my head under the water.

When I stop coughing I glance around the bathroom. My eyes land on the razor sitting on the counter. I climb out of the bathtub and pick up the razor. Didn't Theo get me spare razors? I drop the razor and open the bathroom cabinet. With shaking hands I pull out a box of razors. This one will have to be fast. Theo will be able to smell the blood if he's close. I open the box, pulling out a razor blade then climbed back into the bathtub. I don't want to get blood all over the floor. Taking a deep breath I slip my hands under the water hoping that if I do it under the water it'll take longer for him to smell it.

I'll be with you soon mom and dad I think as I slice my left wrist. I flinch but manage not to make a sound. I hold the razor in my left hand and almost drop it. Tears slide down my face as I weakly cut open my right wrist. This hurts a lot more than I thought it would. I think numbly. It almost feels good to let go. I don't have to worry anymore. I try to lift my arms to see them but I'm too weak. A ringing sets in my ears and a loud thumping noise. Glowing red eyes...how's that possible....

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