Miss Incomplete | ✓

37 | He Loves Me

The group settles on a small diner chain a couple minutes away from the park. Kenji and I gotten into my car and waited for the rest of the cars to leave the parking lot so we could tailgate behind. I took the role of driving this time, because despite my lack of love towards driving and Kenji's extraordinary ability to grasp the concept, I was still the 'adult' in the situation.

Plus, if we're caught, I could lose my driver's license.

"That was great," Kenji muses once exiting off to the road. I nod, agreeing wordlessly as I focus on the red lights of Colin's car. "Julian's friends are great. He's great—actually, he's awesome. Francena, whatever you do, do not fuck this up."

I laugh, diverting my eyes off the road for a split second to send an eye roll towards my brother. "What do you even mean by that? There's nothing to fuck up, we're only friends."

"Are you kidding? Are you that clueless? Do you notice the way Julian looks at you? The way he freaking looked at you when you made your first score? I could've sworn I saw more than 'friends' in his eyes."

From my little brother's words, a thriving hope was bubbling in my chest. However, it was easily deflated once I gather reality into the situation. Julian Dean, the boy that practically chose Tasha Larson over me despite knowing me longer. Julian Dean, the boy that's still hooked up on his last and only girlfriend. Julian Dean, who sees me as someone who could help him with his insomnia and Miss Incomplete only. It wasn't that I didn't want to believe it — I do — but the idea is so far-reached that I barely could scrap the surface of it being my dreams or being reality. Julian loves Tasha, he's still does. He isn't over her, and the fact that he is not over her gives me more than enough reason to believe that he's just not that into me.

I shook my head, "he likes someone else, remember? I can't compete with her."

"It doesn't matter if he likes someone else; have you seen the way he looks at you? Even if he claims to like someone else, the look in his eyes tells a different story."

I smile sadly, continuing to be the production of a counter-argument. "He is still in love with his ex-girlfriend. As much as it saddens me to think about that, it's something I have to face the reality to. Remember the last time I became too hopeful? He got with her. From the rate we're at, I don't think he'll ever move on from his ex."

"Aren't you supposed to move on from your ex? Isn't that how exes becomes exes?"

I chuckle, "yeah, but," I sigh, not knowing how to explain to him that sometimes, even when breaking up with someone, that doesn't mean they don't still love them. "It's difficult to explain, especially when you've never been in love before."

"Yes I have—Jaycee, remember?" Kenji reminds, playing a smile on his lips, "god, she's so pretty."

I laugh, shaking my head. "That isn't love, that's infatuation. You base your attraction to her purely from her looks, not from someone you've grown to know. You create an idea of them that perfectly crafts their personality despite only knowing them for afar. Love is something else—something precious. Love is knowing someone inside and out; love is being with someone simply because their presence makes you happy, secure, safe. Love is seeing their flaws and loving them with them. Not skipping past them. Love is when all things come and fall, that person stays throughout for it all. For you."

Kenji remains quiet, absorbing in my words. That's when our conversation ends. Colin's car parks into a lot as I pull up and stopped next to Julian's Mustang. I got out of the car, waiting for my brother before proceeding into the diner.

My brother grabs a hold of my hand once I made a motion towards leaving. He held me back, allowing the rest of the group to go in and get seated first. "You said you need to know to explain," my brother said slowly, allowing me time to grasp his words. "If that's true, then you might be in love with someone."