It Wasnt A Goodbye

Chapter 47

Warning: In detail talk about miscarriages 

Joshs POV

I had gotten home from a meeting, about to go find Lauren however I heard a loud scream from the bedroom. I ran upstairs, slamming the door open, seeing my fiance in tears, gripping the white bed sheets in her hand. 

"What happened?" I asked, walking closer. When I was stood next to her, it all became clear. The sheets were covered in a dark red, heavier than a normal period leaking. There was clotting in parts of the blood, and some tissue as well. I teared up, wrapping my eyes around the distraught girl. Our baby. He or She wouldnt have survived if born so Laurens body knew to flush the baby out. It wasnt her fault however I knew she would lead herself to think that. I took my phone, quickly calling Joe while Lauren cried into my chest. 

Josh: Lauren miscarried 

Joe: What? Youre joking right?

Josh: I wish I was. Look I have to go, just get here quickly okay.

Joe: Okay, We will come straight from Zoes.

Josh: Thanks man.

I hung up, pulling Lauren into a tighter hug.

"I-Im so sorry. Its my fault. I couldnt carry the baby." She sobbed

"Hey hey, it isnt your fault okay? Our baby wouldnt have survived and your body knew that so it had to get rid of our baby. I promise that it isnt your fault okay? This isnt your fault." I said softly, helping her up. "Go shower, clean yourself up, Ill clean the sheets." I kissed her forehead, giving her one last hug before she walked out the room. What broke my heart worse was the fact I could hear her sobs over the running water. I just wanted to hold her and never let go. I wanted to comfort her until we both fell into some sort of comfortable numbness. I pulled the sheets off the bed, throwing them away as they wouldve been completely stained, replacing them with clean ones. I sighed, Lauren walking in, taking one of my hoodies out the wardrobe and some of my boxers, putting the clothes on before sitting on my lap, bursting into tears again. I hated seeing her so upset. I wanted to make it all better but I didnt know how. All I know is that we had to be there for each other during this time. I jumped slightly, hearing the doorbell ring. 

"Come on." I cooed, picking her up, carrying her downstairs. I opened the door, seeing Joe and Dianne.

"We got here as soon as possible. Im so sorry." Joe gave us a sympathetic smile, hugging the two of us, Dianne joining the hug. 

"Its my fault." Lauren sniffed, crying into my chest again.

"Oh Lauren it isnt your fault." Dianne soothed her. "You couldnt stop this happening, some things just happen for a reason and this was one of those things." 

"B-but-"

"It wasnt your fault." I said, rubbing her back gently. We all walked into the living room, sitting on the sofa. I cradled Lauren, another knock being heard from the door. 

"Ill get it." Joe said, walking over and opening it. There stood the rest of the boys, however the person that stuck out the most in the group was Scarlett. She chose now to show up again, knowing Lauren and I were both in pain from this event. Joe let them all in and I could feel Lauren tense up, her breathing quickening when she saw Scarlett. She couldnt put up the feisty girl act, and everyone could see the fear that was normally hidden. I looked down and Lauren, feeling her begin to shake. 

"Hey, deep breaths. Take deep breaths." I said, playing with her hair to help her calm down while she copied my slow and steady breathing. I whispered sweet nothing to her, letting her fall asleep against me. Once she was in a peaceful sleep I glanced up at everyone. "That never happened before, never that bad anyway." 

"Im sorry." Scarlett sighed. "I didnt mean to make her panic."

"Dont worry, I know you didnt." I said, everyone taking a seat. 

"Im really sorry Josh, I knew how much your unborn child meant to you." Caspar said, gently rubbing my shoulder. I sniffed, nodding a little. 

"It is the last thing that I expected when I came home from meetings." I sighed. "I was always dreading this, I just wish that it never came true." 

What I never wanted to happen, happened.