Utaite OneShots [On Hold]

🍂🎃🎈 [18th] Mafumafu//まふまふ 🎂🍂🎃

"Ugh, my head..."

As I awoke, my head hurt like someone stabbed a kitchen knife into it.
I wasn't kidding-

It hurt like hell.

"Wait... Where even am I...?"

I looked around the room-
It was nothing like my usual surroundings.

As I got up, I slowly started to recognize my location.

"N-No- That can't be-"

I was in my former student dorm.
The place where I've been going through hell for years.

The door to the dorm room opened and a small, black haired boy slipped in, his head in his hands.

He was crying.

"Is... That me...? Why am I seeing this...?"

All my bad memories came rushing up, my mind his been flooded with images I tried to surpress.

"No... No... No...!"

I wanted to scream.

I wanted to puke.

My stomach turned over.

"Why does this keep happening to me...?", the boy whispered.

"I didn't do anything to them... And yet..."

I remembered.
Everything that happened before I met Soraru-san and her.
Thinking of them helped me to calm down a little, but I still felt confused.
What was I doing here?
How did I get here?
Why in the world did I have to see these horrible memories again?

Snapping out of my thoughts, I saw my former self continuously crying and eventually even vomitting into a corner of the room.

"I feel sick... Even though I vomitted, I feel like I have to throw up..."

I wanted to walk up to him.
Tell him everything was going to be okay in the future.
He would finally have friends, cats and find the love of his life.

... But I couldn't.

My body wouldn't move an inch, no matter how hard I tried.

"I guess the only way out really is this one, huh...?"

He picked up a razor blade from under his pillows and held it to his wrist.

"No! Please, don't do it! You're gonna be saved soon, so, please! Don't do this to yourself!", I screamed.

But none of my words seemed to reach him.
My tears started to flow again.
My only wish was for Soraru-san to immediately walk in and save me again.
For the 1000th time.
He has always been there for me when no one else saw me suffering.

I clinged onto my bracelet.
'AtR -2019-' was engraved into it.
I smiled as I thought back to the day.
But then I remembered my current situation.

"I want to wake up from this dream..."

……………………………

When I opened my eyes the next time, hoping I was freed from this nightmare, I found myself in my room.
But not my current room, no.
It was the room I used to sleep in.

At my parent's house.

I shivered, the memories from back then rushing to my mind.
Even back then, the world seemed to hate me and ruined my everyday life.

I tried to walk and my feet actually seemed to move.

The room was quiet.
My former self was probably on his way home from school.