COWARD : ANNYEONGZ (안녕즈) || COMPLETED

Chapter 11 - Scars

Somewhere in London

“You’ll graduate soon Yujin. How about my offer? Have you decided?” I’m currently sitting with Professor Smith in his office. We’re discussing about the offer he gave me last month.

“I’m still thinking about it Professor. My apology. Could you please give me another day? I’ll solve my own confusion.” I’m trying to convince him. I will really make up my decision this time.

“Okay Yujin. I’ll give you one more day. Just so you know many students are lining up for this chance. You’re lucky I asked you first. You know your own potential and me, I want the best for you, my best student.” He’s right though. I shouldn’t waste my time thinking over this. I should agree instead. But still, I’m stuck between London and Seoul.

And if you’re wondering what I’m talking about I’ll tell you something that you won’t really expect me to be. I am now studying in Cambridge University majoring in Medical Sciences. Weird? I think so too. And I’m actually graduating in three months.

My professor, Mr. Edward Smith is offering me a fully-funded research program. But I’m still thinking about turning down his offer since it’ll take me another two years here in London. Which means I won’t go back to Korea after my graduation.

I left Korea four years ago, two months after my high school graduation. I don’t know if I really left to study, chasing my future or running from it. From her.

I’m actually thinking about visiting Wonyoung and her family after I settle up with everything here. I don’t even know if she wants to see me after what I did. Will I be able to face her? And her special someone which is not me? Will I? Can I?

I just want to apologize for everything. I know. I know. I was being a total jerk back then. I was an asshole, and I still am. I left her for the sake of everyone. But here I am now, still feeling hurt.

I’m hurting myself by not being with her. It hurts like crazy! Fuck! Fuck me! The most coward person alive, Ahn Yujin! For not fighting when I should have! For backing off when I should not!

Now everything had happened. I can’t go back to those times. I can’t turn back time either. I just want to gather all my courage and apologize to her. To the love of my life, Jang Wonyoung. That’s all. Maybe, just maybe, I’ll feel relieve and let go of her, of my feeling for her.

Flashback (A day before London)

“Yujinnie, what’s with you these days? You’ve changed. You’re being cold, neglecting me, making excuses and so on. Please tell me what’s wrong.” Wonyoung asked with a shaky voice. I was lying down on the mat, closing my eyes with both my hands supporting my head. I knew she would burst out crying anytime soon.

“Yujinnie, please answer me.” I heard her voice started cracking. Yeah, as I expected she cried.

We were both planning to enjoy our little moment under a big tree with Hangang River and a sunset as our perfect view for the evening. I supposed to be happy being with someone I cherish the most, but I didn’t. I couldn’t.

Wonyoung didn’t know about me leaving Korea. The only thing she knew that I got accepted in KAIST University to major in Natural Sciences. I got a scholarship offer after my high school graduation since I’ve always been in the top 3 in our school. We were actually celebrating my entrance day for the next week. And that was Wonyoung’s plan.