Kiya | KY |
Houston, Texas
"Where you think people go when they die?" I asked Kamari as i laid on top of him playing with his fingers.
"Heaven or Hell." He shrugged nonchalantly.
"But you ever just thought like, what if it was just pitch black when you die?" I asked curiously.
"What you mean?" He asked me.
"Like what if when you die its like before you were born. Before you were born it was nothing, then it's like when you die, it's nothing. Like your sleep but there's no dream." I said thinking about it.
"But don't get me wrong I believe in heaven and hell, i believe in God but my mind also wonders at times." I added.
"I mean you not wrong for wondering, but shit nobody gone know till they actually dead." He shrugged.
"You think you'll remember me when we go to heaven?" I asked him.
"They don't have room in heaven for people like me Kiya." He said causing me to look up at him.
"What you mean, for people like you?" I asked him.
"Heaven is for good people and ian good people." He shrugged.
"Heaven is for everybody and it's never too late to give yourself to God Kamari." I told him seriously.
"I did too much in my lifetime and im knowing God ain satisfied with me. Ion think he let murderers in heaven." He shrugged. "I know where im going when i die and i accept that ain't shit else i can do i made my choices in life and i gotta deal with the aftermath." He shrugged nonchalantly.
"But Kamari God forgives all, theres no sin bigger than the other. And don't label yourself as a murderer that's not what you are. You are Kamari Jaquan Black (idk if i gave him last name already but this gone be his last name) God will not judge you and he loves you eternally. You need to start praying." I told him seriously.
"How you gone tell me im not a murderer like ion kill people. Ian hidin from who i am." He said not understanding what i was trying to tell him.
"You are not a murderer and it's making me mad that your sitting here labeling yourself as a murderer willingly." I said getting frustrated.
"Yo ass in denial and ion know why." He said shaking his head.
"I don't give a damn what people see as you and yo homeboys could see you as a murderer but i see you as Kamari fuck what you talking bout you finna make me mad." I said getting off of him but he pulled me back on him.
"Why you getting mad?" He asked me with a small chuckle.
"Because you always dk that, your always belittling yourself. I don't know if you know but Xavier and Alexis looks up to you. You helped them become stable your keeping a roof over their head. Hell you paid for your mama house, and whenever Peyton call you cause she need somebody your right there. Kamari you put everybody before yourself. You might come off rude and an arrogant asshole but you help others. Kamari when were at the store one time you let all the kids in the store get whatever they wanted and you paid for their items and you didn't even know them." I ranted.
"Your like the neighborhood hero Kamari and you don't even notice it. Your always belittling yourself. Your always focused on the bad stuff you do its like you don't even see the good stuff that you do. Take a look in the mirror and stop looking at K3 and look at Kamari." I concluded. He didn't even respond to anything i said. I know he's probably just going to let it go in one ear and out the other but im hoping he's not.
