Thicker than Water (Marauders Era)

2 August, 1974 - Contradictions

Lavinia's summer was spent in a strange world of contradictions that seemed to come flying in from all sides.

First, her Herbology grades had improved, by some miracle Lavinia didn't remotely understand, but wasn't about to question. This pleased her mother, certainly, but led to an odd sort of conflict between mother and daughter. After all, Rhea was proud of her daughter's improvement and wanted Lavinia to know that she would be rewarded for making the changes demanded of her. On the other hand, though improved, Lavinia's marks were still far from what Rhea wanted them to be and she wanted to make it clear that this little improvement wasn't enough. The Selwyn family demanded perfection, after all. The result was a conversation that left Lavinia simultaneously joyful and hollow and frankly confused. So she responded as she always did and decided not to think too much on it.

Second was the issue of William. Lavinia loved her little brother fiercely and had anyone bothered to ask her a year ago - and had she been honest, a frankly unlikely scenario - Lavinia would have said that she wanted nothing more than to protect her brother from the pressures academic life had brought to her. She wanted to shelter him from the expectations that weighed her down every time she saw Paris soaring down from the Hogwarts rafters, a letter tied to his foot. She still did.

Lavinia had always acted as a shield in her family. Her mother's rages could soar out of control, and it wasn't an uncommon occurrence for Lavinia to be the stopping block. It was like a dance they did. Lavinia brought her mother down. She calmed her. That was her role in family life. She stood between her mother's rage and the servants - if not physically, then verbally. She was the voice of reason when Rhea wanted the impossible, or when some little thing tipped the scales on a long day.

She didn't mind. She knew her mother was at heart, a fiercely loyal person. She wanted to protect her own, protect her family, protect her reputation. And it was the ferocity of this that sometimes drove her past reason. William being a few minutes late to dinner was no reason to fuss, Lavinia would insist. After all, what would the servants think? His shirt being untucked at a party? Let Lavinia deal with it. Guests would see it as a sweet sibling bond instead of a domineering mother. In short, Lavinia knew how to step sideways around her mother, knew how to protect her family. While simultaneously protecting herself. It helped, of course, that usually, Rhea's rage wasn't focused or directed at Lavinia, who went to great lengths to keep it that way.

The new problem with William was that he didn't seem to need her protection anymore. Rhea never raged at him. She never even seemed much annoyed. Indeed, both she and her husband doted on their son. Bragged about his marks, his Quidditch skills, his friend group. So much so that Lavinia felt unnecessary. He didn't need her anymore.

But here was the second contradiction. Behind closed doors and in their rare private moments, William resented his parents' sudden overzealous support. And once, he even asked Lavinia why she kept leaving him to deal with them on his own.

Lavinia had been shocked to say the least, not knowing what to do. She couldn't exactly tell her mother not to brag about her son, especially not when the other matriarchs simply lapped it up, vying for Rhea's favor, no doubt in the hopes of setting up their daughters. She also didn't understand what William was upset about. She would have killed to have her mother look at her the way she looked at William. Like he was her entire life, her source of greatest pride.

Once, at a midsummer party, Lavinia did manage to snatch a share of her mother's praise, though the context made her squirm slightly.

She was sitting in the shade, wearing a sunshine yellow dress that Rhea said made her look like a spotty lemon, trying not to get a sunburn in the bright summer heat, when none other than Walburga Black sat down next to her. Lavinia straightened her spine subconsciously. Though no longer the unquestioned leader of the pureblood women's circles thanks to her eldest son's disgrace, Walburga was nonetheless a figure who commanded respect. It helped, Lavinia thought privately, that she gave off the air of someone who might eat you if you dared talk down to her.