Thicker than Water (Marauders Era)

23 June, 1978 - Fear (II)

*

Lavinia woke up the next morning earlier than usual and earlier than she would have liked given the splitting headache she currently had. But she made herself stay awake because she hadn't bothered to pack the night before. She didn't think any of the 7th years had bothered to pack the night before thanks to the parties that had gone so late.

Sighing, Lavinia rolled over in a bed that was not her own and remembered:

She had been fully prepared to leave dinner and go to her dormitory and just read a book or otherwise waste the time until it was quiet enough for her to sleep. Or maybe she would visit the kitchens later, or stargaze. But she certainly hadn't been planning to attend the Slytherin party. She knew they wouldn't want her there and frankly, didn't trust all of them. She was a traitor, and her betrayal was one they had taken rather personally. It was hard for her to blame them, if she was honest. She had been their friend. And then she'd walked away, violated the rules and traditions and beliefs they lived by. And to top it off, she'd rubbed it in their faces by becoming friends with people they hated.

Of course, she hadn't told the Marauders any of this. She'd simply said she was tired and wanted to go to bed early and ignored their protests because she didn't have the energy to explain.

She'd been slow leaving the hall, having lingered over dinner and the happiness she'd felt for even the brief hour the meal had lasted. And then she hadn't wanted to go to bed, hadn't wanted to deal with packing or drowning out the sounds of music and laughter that would undoubtedly be coming from the common room. So she'd wandered down to the kitchens, thinking she should say goodbye to the house elves there because this was, after all, her last full day in this castle.

The elves had been surprised but happy to see her and she'd accepted a cup of tea from Dinser before settling into the little table at the corner she'd sat at so many times before. And she watched them, sipping her tea and enjoying the hustle and bustle of the kitchens. This, she decided, was one place she would miss. Most of this castle was too twisted up in bad memories for her to ever want to see it again once she'd left but here... here was a place that had always been safe and warm and welcoming.

She lingered over her tea, just as she had over dinner, lingered over the cozy atmosphere and alluring scents of left over dinner. And when it came time to leave, when her cup was drained and she couldn't find another excuse to stay, Lavinia bid goodbye to the elves with genuine sadness.

"Miss will come back to visit?" asked Dinser as she stood in the doorway, preparing to depart.

Lavinia smiled. "If I'm ever in the castle again," she promised him, "I'll come visit." And she would. But it was a big if. She didn't really intend to ever set foot in this castle again. She was ready to move on. To start over. To never look back.

She'd spent long enough in the kitchens that by the time she made it to the Slytherin common room, the party was in full swing. There was music blasting from somewhere and butterbeers and fire whiskeys were being circulated and food was on a table in the corner and she sighed, knowing it would be no easy feat to make it to the dormitory staircase without someone realizing who she was and making a fuss about it.

She kept close to the wall, making her way slowly around the room, pushing around people who stumbled when she passed. Drunk, she realized vaguely. At least half of the 7th years here were drunk. Another sigh escaped her. She didn't want to deal with these people sober, much less drunk. Then again, maybe it would prevent them from recognizing her and remembering they were supposed to hate her.

It was a fool's hope and she knew that. And it was shattered within minutes of her entering the room. She was perhaps halfway to the staircase that would take her to her dormitory when suddenly someone grabbed her shoulder and pushed her against the wall.