Thicker than Water (Marauders Era)

10 May, 1978 - Goodbye

After the incident at the bell tower, Lavinia was admittedly rather nervous to see Sirius again, mostly because of how awkward the rest of the night had been between them. He'd become oddly cold and distracted as soon as she'd suggested they go to bed and though she'd managed to get him laughing, it had felt forced.

Her nerves were made no better when, the following night, as she made her way up towards the Room of Requirement, she came across none other than Regulus. He was standing by the windows at the top of a flight of stairs on the sixth floor, staring outside. It reminded her rather painfully of all the nights she'd spent in the exact same position and it made her want to run to him and damn the consequences.

That thought made her pause halfway up the stairs, wondering suddenly if she shouldn't be here. If she should take a back way or something. She knew her presence could be dangerous. Knew she couldn't let anyone see her with him. But it was dark and there was no one around and he looked so sad and... and she missed him. She missed him painfully and terribly and at all the smallest, strangest moments. So maybe she could let herself have this one.

She came to the top of the steps and glanced around, making sure there was no one else in the hallway. Certain they were alone, at least for now, Lavinia stepped forward so she was next to him at the window. He didn't move, which she thought was a bit odd and it again made her wonder if she should be moving on, pretending she'd never seen him.

"I can leave if you want," she said softly, watching his face carefully for his reaction.

He shook his head, still not looking at her. "Please don't," he whispered and though there was little emotion in the words, what feeling there was spoke volumes. So she stayed.

There was silence again for several long minutes and Lavinia realized rather belatedly that this wasn't going to be a quick conversation and she was going to be late to meet the Marauders. She hoped they wouldn't worry too much and wished she had an easy way to tell them. But if Regulus didn't want her to leave, then she wouldn't leave, not even to run up another level and let the others know.

That thought made her feel rather guilty, but, she rationalized, her moments with Regulus were rare these days and she didn't want to waste a single one. She got to see the Marauders every day and though they might worry, they could manage her being late. And they would understand when she explained. Probably.

After a little while, Regulus finally spoke. "I actually came looking for you," he admitted quietly. "Before I realized I had no idea where you would be." He sighed, a heavy sound that made Lavinia ache terribly. She wanted to hold him, to touch him and tell him she hurt too but it would be okay. They would make it okay. "Merlin, everything changed so fast," he muttered, shaking his head and giving an almost nervous laugh.

Lavinia nodded, sighing as well and holding herself back because she didn't know if he wanted to pretend this was old times or that things had always been this way. So she kept herself still by his side.

She certainly understood what he meant, though. Six months ago everything had been so completely and utterly different. On some fronts it had been better, she supposed, and on others much worse and she didn't know how to feel about the whole thing. All she knew was that she didn't think she wanted to go back to the way things were. And that made her feel rather guilty because she was certain Regulus did.

"I didn't know who else to go to," he was now saying, still looking out at the grounds.. "Because everyone seems dangerous right now." Lavinia frowned, wondering what he meant by that. As though he realized she had no idea what he was getting at, he glanced at her and sighed. "Nothing's been the same since you left, Vin," he told her, turning away again. "Everyone's been so careful. No one shares anything and everyone watches their words like they're afraid if they say the wrong thing, they'll get called a blood traitor too." He shook his head and shot her a forced smile. "No one ever thought you would be the one to leave," he explained with a shrug. "And now they think anyone could go at any moment and it terrifies them."