Thicker than Water (Marauders Era)

9 October, 1978 - Welcome

*

Lavinia opened the door to the sound of voices breaking off mid sentence. She entered the house slowly, frowning and staring at the group of people sitting in the living room and at the dinner table. There were perhaps two dozen people in the house, ranging in age from just out of school to middle age and even a few older folks who were beginning to go truly grey. Lavinia knew only a handful of them, something which did nothing to lessen the confusion and anxiety beginning to build in her.

What was going on?

Instinctively, her eyes sought out Remus and Sirius. Both were sitting at the table, Remus twisted around so he could see her and Sirius next to James, shock painted over his features along with a little bit of guilt.

Confusion pulsed through Lavinia's head, her thoughts reeling as she tried to figure out what in Merlin's name was happening here. Why were there so many people in the house? Had she forgotten something? Or missed a message? Or... her eyes fixed again on the edge of guilt in Sirius's face. Or had they not told her about this? But the question remained: What was this?

And then her eyes found the tall, silver haired man sitting at the head of the table and understanding slid into her bones and settled in her stomach like a stone. Albus Dumbledore was watching her calmly over the top of his half moon spectacles, his fingers touching as his elbows rested on the table. Old resentment bubbled up in her, the product of six years at Hogwarts knowing the old man did nothing to quell the hatred the school had for her house.

"Miss Selwyn," the old man greeted, inclining his head slightly. "Welcome."

Lavinia felt something shoot through her veins, sharp and almost painful. Welcome? Like he had any right to welcome her here. Like he owned this place. She looked back to Sirius and Remus, both of whom looked to be grimacing slightly. But even they didn't know that she had a specific dislike for this man. She'd never mentioned it after all. She knew they practically worshipped him. And they had no reason not to.

"Don't welcome me into my own home," Lavinia returned after a moment. The words weren't snappish, but cold. Endlessly cold. She felt like there might be ice in her veins, like something had frozen over in her and her joy earlier had stilled and gone silent.

"I intended to welcome you to this meeting," Dumbledore murmured, ever the diplomat. Ever pretending he had the moral high ground. She might have scoffed aloud if she wasn't so busy trying to control herself. "I apologize for the miscommunication."

Lavinia smiled and sniffed derisively, her temper, such an elusive beast these days was straining at its leash. "We both know I'm not welcome here," she countered tightly. She needed to leave. She could see the suspicion in the eyes of so many of these people and hated it. She could feel the edges of her fear warping to mix with her anger and this was neither the time nor place to lose it.

"I'll be elsewhere, if you need me," she informed them with a smile she though might have been slightly caustic. "Which you won't," she added, hanging her bag on the coat rack before she pivoted and left, closing the door on the silence in her wake.

She didn't pay much attention to where she was going as her feet traced the by now familiar path down to the beach. She felt so... useless right now. So unnecessary. So afraid.

She knew what she'd just walked in on: a meeting of the Order of the Phoenix. A war meeting.

Now, of course, she'd assumed that Sirius and Remus and James and Lily and Peter were going to these. To say she didn't mind wasn't exactly right, because she did worry. She worried a lot. She'd wondered more than once what would happen if she came home to an empty house. If Remus or Sirius simply never showed up. She'd wondered what she'd do if Peter was gone and the others didn't hurt as much as they should. Or if James or Lily died and the other was left alone.